The Fundamental Things Awry
by gilmoregirl1979
Summary: Luke and Lorelai, fundemental AU Part of the ORIGINAL WOULDA SHOULDA COULDA SERIES (ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUES)what SHOULD have happened on Casablnaca night!
1. The Fundamental Things Awry

**The Fundamental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. Dialouge has been borrowed from....episode 4-05 -The Fundamental Things Apply (written by John Stephens, directed by Neema Barnette); Some Dialouge and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979,  
... that is why it is awry! (I rhymed).**

**Summary: The Fundamental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! **

**A/N: awry: 1. In a position (Dirty!!) that is turned or twisted toward one side(really Dirty!!); askew. 2. Away from the correct course; amiss.  
  
well my version is awry (askew, a new twist) from how it happened in the eppy AKA in actual Gilmore history... get it? great! Enjoy this AU path!!**

**A/N2: hey, I know the intro is kinda long,...but it's worth it...**

**TO: LuvzAFunEthing, my friend, my gilmore gal pal, in the eloquent words of T.J.  
  
"I love YA!" (strictly in a gal pal, friendly type way, although I'm sure some may find you very stalkable!! lol) yes my dear , this is exploring the WASTED opportunity for LL ...to get it on... **

**and Shouhei who betaed this!! thanks babe, for telling me this was good, and for rubbing my ego....(DIRTY? EXTREMELY!!!)**

**

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****For Those Who Came In Late...(Or Just Need A Refresher):  
Earlier ... on Gilmore Girls:  
LUKE'S DINER**  
  
ED: Luke. Sorry. I'm cutting it kind of close here. 

LUKE: Oh, sorry, Ed. I didn't realize you were cutting it kind of close. Everybody, drop everything. Ed's cutting it kind of close. Here's your tickets.

ED: You seem mad.

LUKE: Look, Ed, just go to the game and enjoy it, okay? Choke on a hot dog while you're at it.

ED: I have to tell you, Luke, I am never accepting anything free from you again.

LUKE: What a threat! Boy, you're a real master of fear, there, Ed. Look out, Jason and Freddy. Ed may never mooch off of either one of you ever again!

LORELAI: What is wrong with you?

LUKE: Nothing.

LORELAI: You're yelling at Ed.

LUKE: Ah, Ed bugs me.

LORELAI: Ed cries.

LUKE: I'm just having a bad day.

LORELAI: Zzz.

LUKE: Excuse me?

LORELAI: Days. You've been stomping around, barking at people for days.

LUKE: I have not.

LORELAI: Yes, Cujo, you have.

LUKE: I always talk to people like that.

LORELAI: No, Benji, you don't.

LUKE: I'll be fine tomorrow.

LORELAI: Really, Lassie? Why is that?

LUKE: Look, I bought these tickets for Nicole 'cause she's a Yankees fan. I thought it'd be nice if we went to a game together.

LORELAI: Oh, man.

LUKE: And it's no big deal. I mean, the closer it got to the game, the more I felt like a loser. I mean, I'm sitting on these tickets, which means I thought I'd still be in a relationship. I don't know. Stupid. I broke my own rule. I asked for it.

LORELAI: What are you talking about?

LUKE: Never plan for anything more than two days in advance.

LORELAI: That's your rule?

LUKE: Yes, 'cause when you make plans, then you have expectations, and when you have expectations, then you will get disappointed.

LORELAI: Having expectations also gives you something to look forward to.

LUKE: Yes, then you're looking forward to being constantly disappointed.

LORELAI: You're not that cynical.

LUKE: I am today.

LORELAI: Hey, I have an idea. Tomorrow night is usually movie night.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: Rory and I would always rent a bunch of movies, order food -- it was our thing. Now she's at school and busy, so why don't you come over? It might be fun.

LUKE: Okay.

LORELAI: Yeah?

LUKE: Sure, what else have I got to do?

LORELAI: Ah, I love when men say that to me.

LUKE: What time?

LORELAI: Eight.

LUKE: Eight it is.

LORELAI: I'll stop by the video store and pick us up a couple movies. What do you want to see?

LUKE: I don't know.

LORELAI: Well, come on, tell me. I don't want to get something you've seen.

LUKE: Don't worry about it. I haven't seen anything.

LORELAI: People always say that.

LUKE: Well, with me, it's true.

LORELAI: "_Casablanca_"?

LUKE: Nope.

LORELAI: You have never seen "_Casablanca_"? Are you kidding?

LUKE: Just get anything, please.

LORELAI: "_Chinatown_"?

LUKE: Anything at all.

LORELAI: "_Bonnie and Clyde_"?

LUKE: A video game would be nice also.

LORELAI: "_It Happened One Night_"? "_His Girl Friday_"? "_Treasure of the Sierra Madre_"? "_Diner_"?

LUKE: I saw "_Mr. and Mrs. Bridge_."

LORELAI: Oh. My house, eight o'clock. We have such work to do.

LUKE: I'll see you there.

LORELAI: Oh, by the way, if my package arrives today, bring it with you, okay? Thanks.

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**Now ... on Gilmore Girls ... :  
The Fundamental Things Awry  
**LORELAI'S HOUSE  
  
_Man, It's just Luke_.

She really couldn't explain why she felt compelled to look her best for him. She repeated to herself, _It's just Luke, relax_, even as she put down her eye shadow, and reached for her lip gloss, ... and double checked her hair, ... and reconsidered her top. But there was no time to change, the chinese food delivery guy was knocking at the door, Lorelai paid him and took to arranging the take out containers on the coffee table.

Now, she could only kill time till Luke's arrival, she decided on the "flight of the bumble bee" sprucing around the house method. _This is not a big deal. You are just cheering him up after he's had a rough week. He's lonely and you're ... a little ... lonely, _she seemed to realize. Shrugging off how hard it had been to get used to Rory not being around, and focused on the cushions of the couch again. _Why AM I sprucing?...It's Luke..!! He's seen the place a disaster before ... when pipes have burst, torn up porch rails, ... after Stella got out..._ She smiled at the memory, and recalled the sneaking suspicion she had that night. The sense that Luke had come over for more than just to look for a baby chick.

She was saved from her cleaning madness and romantic speculations by the knock at the door. _What is that?_ She seemed to ask the sensation in her stomach._ I can't be having butterflies over Luke,_ ... but she was. _Come on, he is cute!_ Lorelai scolded the suggestive voice, _Cute as a friend!_ However, She was excited that he was coming over to her house, no toolbox required. They never really just hung out, or did anything fun, just the two of them. Usually, Luke would rain on her excitement of whatever activity she described, or Rory had always been around, as sort of a buffer._ But now my girl is grown up...a college girl..._

Again pushing the empty nest syndrome away, with one more mirror check, and Lorelai put a smile on her face, as she opened the front door. There Luke stood with some bags of Diner takeout. Her smile became even wider, she contemplated a 'Hi, Handsome', but that maybe to much between friends, _Friends? Please, ... tell me another! _so she settled on "Ah, man bearing bags of food. Come in."

He grinned, "I went a little overboard here." A little embarrassed that he knew the size of her appetite so well.

"No such thing." And she eagerly ushered him in and closed the door. Luke began to describe the evening's menu he had brought along. A menu, by no coincidence, that consisted of Lorelai's favorites. " I got tons of fries, half a pumpkin pie. You got whipped cream here?"

She smiled, "Always" _and Dirty_ she thought. _Oh My God, enough with the mock flirting...._ A voice of reason said in her head. _What do you mean 'mock'_, the more suggestive voice shot back. Lorelai almost didn't hear the rest of the Luke's menu, for the debate inside her head.

"And, uh, I wasn't sure what to do with the burgers because sometimes you order with double cheese, sometimes you don't, so I brought one with normal cheese and one with. .." Then he caught sight of the Chinese food containers on the coffee table ". . .what did you do?"

back to the here and now. "I ordered food." She stated matter of factly.

"I said I'd bring food."

"So I can't contribute, like I'm a piker?"

"No. Just that I didn't need to bring food." Luke said a little annoyed.

"Well, I'm leftover girl. I'll have the burgers tonight and the Chinese food during the week." Genuinely not wanting to offend him.

"Then, you just should have ordered the Chinese fresh tomorrow instead of tonight." Now a little embarassed he put so much thought in the menu.

"I don't like fresh Chinese food. I like stale Chinese food." And she began to clear up the take out cartons from the table, and stored them the fridge, to save for tommorrow night.

"I give up." He shook his head, as she left the room with the containers. In all honesty, he was just happy to be there. To take his mind off things; The Yankee game, the diner, ... Nicole. He was glad to be in Lorelai's company, to have a friend wanting to go out of her way to cheer him up, that was nice thing to have_. You hear that word, ... a Friend, ... she is just a friend. Don't get any fancy ideas about tonight, this is just one friend looking out for another friend._

Lorelai came back in the living room with two bottles, and brought him out of his reflection. "I got you a nice, cold beer." She enticed, noticing his distracted expression.

"Appreciate it." He nodded, and took his first sip, to wash away any remaining "more that a friend/romantic" thoughts he was having, thoughts he'd been having for what ... seven years, ... and two girlfriends. As he handed her one of his take out containers.

She sat down on the couch with her beer. "Okay. You are one click away from '_Casablanca_''."

"Start it up." As he opened his own container with a salad.

"No, whoa, whoa, whoa. We need to get situated. Are you all situated?"

"I'm situated." He raised his beer.

"You need to, like, ... squish around a little."

"I don't need to."

"Come on, squish around a little bit." She bounced on the couch, as if that would make him do it with her.

"I'm fine how I am." Having to smile at her energy.

"Okay, but, uh, you can't squish during the movie because it's distracting. That's rule number one."

"There's rules?" _It's Lorelai Gilmore, of course there are rules._

"Oh, yeah, especially for a true classic like '_Casablanca_.' It's not like we're watching a there's-nothing-else-on movie or a guilty pleasure like '_Hardbodies_.' Oh, my God. Have you seen '_Hardbodies'_?"

"I don't think so."

"Three middle-aged guys rent a beach house and they hire this young local stud to introduce them to cute girls, a.k.a. '_Hardbodies_.'"

"Let's see that."

"No, Luke, we're seeing '_Casablanca_.' "

"Then let's see that." _Oh My God, the Work!_

"Okay, the rest of the rules - no talking during the movie. No exceptions during a true classic. And minimize distraction. You know, no shifting around a lot, no phone calls, nothing. No going to the bathroom. If you go, you miss the movie 'cause we're not pausing the movie. That's the only way to get the flow of the thing, okay?"

"Fair enough." And took a swig of his beer. _This maybe a long night, _recalling the other movies she had mentioned in the diner, and her comment of "We have such work to do." He began to wonder how long he'd be here...alone....with her. _Stop it, Danes,_ with another swallow of his beer, he put it down, now realizing he should pace himself better, and began to stab at his salad.

"Okay. Here we go." and she started the movie.

Luke was immediately puzzled "What's that?"

"Okay, um . . . "she stopped the movie, "...(A), um, no talking during the movie, and (B), don't tell me you've never seen the FBI warning before. "

"It's new to me". He said honestly.

"Oh, my God. You're beyond monk. You're uber-monk." _And I'm attracted to this guy?..._she chuckled to herself _.... wait...what??_

"Just start it up. I won't talk again." settling into his side of the couch.

Her previous thoughts purged, she couldn't resist another jab. "Okay, just one more warning - when they showed the first motion picture over a hundred years ago, it featured a train rushing toward the camera, and, um, people were so sure the train was going to burst off the screen and crush them that they ran away in terror." She put her hands on his arm and lean into him. "Now, Luke, the train is not going to leave the screen."

"Hit the button." Another long sip of his beer, _Yeah, a long night_.

"Okay." and she took a swallow of hers. "Wait, lights!" and put down the bottle.

"What?"

"I don't want a glare on the TV, it's distracting." And she went behind the couch and turned off the most offensive lamp by the window. Then, She went to the kitchen, and turned off that light too, and grabbed two more beers, _Just in case; _but her suggestive voice was back, _just in case of what?_ She ingored it, and focused on her guest. Holding up the bottles with a smile in the glow of the TV, "Provisions, ..." she sat back down, "So there should be no more interuptions" She declared.

_God, I love that smile ... Geez, keep it together, Man._

"Great, hit the button arleady." As he ate a grape tomato.

* * *

TBC 

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**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

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**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	2. The NEW Movie Night Rule!

**The Fundemental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. Dialouge has been borrowed from....episode 4-05 -The Fundamental Things Apply (written by John Stephens, directed by Neema Barnette); Some Dialouge and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979,  
... that is why it is awry! (I rhymed).**

**Summary: The Fundemental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! **

**LuvzAFunEthing, you gave me a shirtless Luke, in your fic, now I return the favor,...well again.... (who loves you baby?!?!?!? Oh oh it's ME!!! )**

**and Shouhei who betaed this!! thanks babe, for telling me this was good and that I was talented, and for rubbing my ego....(DIRTY? EXTREMELY!!!)**

**For Those Who Came In Late...(Or Just Need A Refresher):See Chapter one..**

**A/N: My reccommendation if you have this eppy, watch it, then read this...and tell me what you think!!! LOL ENJOY!!! and of course...read my other STUFF!!**

**A/N: this is the chapter you will tell your friends about!!!**

Chapter 2:  
The NEW Movie Night Rule!!  
  
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Rory was on her date from hell at an ITALIAN RESTAURANT and made "urine mints" anecdote...  
  
... Who cares!!! I'm focused on L/L here(I'm one track minded that way), Rory will Cameo later...oops did I ruin it for ya! Sorry!

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LORELAI'S HOUSE ... again...

Lorelai and Luke were watching the movie in the dark. Luke tried not to read into her "the light's glare on the TV" comment. His beer was starting to kick in and made it easier to shrug it off. He couldn't help but feel a little juvenile though. Alone on a couch, in the dark, with a beautiful woman. _Stop it! _And now, he tried not to notice how gleefully Lorelai was watching him watch the movie.

"Stop doing that." he grunted, truely annoyed.

"Shh, no talking."she scolded.

"Then stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Looking at me."

"Vain party, table for one."

"You know what I mean. You're watching me watch the movie. It's creepy. "

"I enjoy watching people watch certain parts of certain movies. "

"But you look over just before something big happens, so I always know something's coming."  
  
"Oh, I do?"

"You did it just before Humphrey Bogart saw Ingrid Bergman for the first time. "

"Well, she's the costar. You knew something was coming." To make ammends, Lorelai decided to rewind the movie a little, since they had missed stuff as they quipped, and was going to make a consious effort not to bother Luke, just as the phone rang. _Machine will get it!_ she thought.

As she began to rewind, he sighed, "There goes our flow." He couldn't help but think a _Dirty! ... God, she is rubbing off on me._

"Well, we missed stuff while we were talking."

"You're back too far, we've seen this."

"I didn't. I was looking at you. "

"We'll never get through this." He sighed again, wondering how long she was planning on keeping him here. Then the smart ass voice in his head argued, _You wanna leave, then leave_. Luke just crossed his arms, staying on the couch, not wanting to admit how much he wanted to stay to the annoying voice in his head. He looked over to Lorelai who was trying to read the remote buttons in the dark.

The answering machine picked up, "Hi, it's Lorelai. Leave me a message", Then Rory's plaintive cry came through the air, "Mom, are you there? "

_A daughter in need, this looks like a job for Super Mom!_ "Oh, wait, wait." The movie offically stopped, and in an instant she was up and fumbling in the dark to find the phone.

"Come on." Luke pleaded.

"Mom, if you're there, pick up." Rory's voice called again.

Lorelai found and answered the phone. "Honey? ..."

"There goes the phone rule." Luke sighed as he leaned his head against the back of the couch and enjoyed the effects of his beer. But the smart ass was back, _Nothing like a phone call from the daughter to spoil the mood._ Then he argued with himself, _There is NO mood, she is just a friend_. And the smart ass voice persisted, _A friend ... with big blue eyes, alone with you on the couch, who looks very pretty in the dark and if I'm not mistaken you're half way through your second beer ...finding a little courge at the bottom of the bottle are we? Yeah, sure, no mood at all._

For some reason, Luke felt he may need a third. _Anything to shut that voice up._ So he went into the kitchen for another cold one, figuring they were stopped anyway, and only hearing Lorelai's half of the conversation. "...Are you okay?" she said to Rory.

Rory grumbled at her mom's question "No, this whole night is sucking."

"What? How?" trying to be of some assistance over the great distance to dating hell, keeping an eye on Luke as he walked into the kitchen.

Rory explained, "You're right - I've never dated before, and I know that now because of this feeling I have. I've never had this feeling before."

Lorelai, a little embarrassed for Luke to be hearing this, as if betraying the secrets of her sister daters around the world, and only wanting only to project confidence his way. but her daughter was in need, and that took precedence. "Sort of frozen, sort of unsure, sort of wishing you'd read a lot of dating articles in preparation?"

Rory was relieved that her mother knew what she was talking about. "I have no idea what I'm doing here, and everyone is staring at me because they know we're on a bad first date."

"Oh, so the guy's a dud?" _There is nothing worse on a date then when the company is the problem and you have no escape, _recalling her blind date with Rune. She smiled in Luke's direction, glad that her company tonight was, for the most part, agreeable. _This is not a date_, Lorelai had to remind herself, as she admired Luke in his jeans when he bent down into the fridge, _GAH, Stop that!! Rory, focus on Rory! _As she closed her eyes

"Trevor's fine. I'm moronic. I bring the conversation to a crashing halt every time I speak."

"Well, where is he now?" _We need to strategize._

Rory groaned "In the bathroom, probably pondering my brilliant anecdote about urine mints."

"About what?" Caught off guard and naturally curious.  
  
"You know, when people go to the bathroom and they don't wash their hands and they come out and they take a mint. "

Horrified and disgusted, "Oh, my God. I've been eating those mints for years." to Luke, as he passed her on his way into the living room, she grabbed his arm to get his attention. "Hey, did you know about urine mints?"

"What?" Luke was confused by the nature of the girl talk, _Urine mints? Isn't Rory on a Date?_ Pulling back his arm, he shook his head, and made his way back to the couch with two more beers, one for him and one for Lorelai. And pulled out the pie from the diner bag, he knew Lorelai would be wanting dessert. He settled back into his side of the couch, with his right arm resting on the back of the couch, and just watched her as she comforted her daughter.

Rory began to analyzie what bad dater she was, "And I've already forgotten everything that he said to me - the name of his brother and sister and best friend. And we're sitting on the same side of the table. We keep bumping menus, and my neck already hurts from trying to turn and look at him when he talks. Can I tell him to sit on the other side?"

Trying to sooth her daughter as best she could "Honey, you just. . .you have to relax, 'cause it's just a date, and sometimes dates don't go well. I mean, I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but if he comes back and you're on the phone, it might make things more awkward."

Rory sighed heavily "Bite the bullet, huh?"

"Yeah. ... Sorry, but yeah. "

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Lorelai hung up the phone , and plopped down on the couch, a little closer to Luke than she was before. She groaned, "Oh, poor thing," when she opened her eyes and turned to face Luke, both were surprised at how close she was to him, she felt her head resting on his arm._ You did that on purpose_, she accused the suggestive voice in her head. _Hey, his body language is wide open and his arm was just so inviting. Besides, I'm just a voice, it's your ASS that sat next to him_. She examined his expression, and their position, it was like they were a couple, they fit together perfectly on the couch. Their hips were right against each other, ... and Luke tried not to notice. Both staring into each other's eyes just a little too long.

"Dating's the worst. "Luke cleared his throat, as he broke the gaze, to get back on the topic, and and tried to keep his mind off Lorelai's body against his.

"Yeah, ... but they're sitting on the same side of the table and that's awkward, and she can't think of what to say next, and you know, she's just gotta go through it and figure it out on her own. You just have to throw them out there and let them learn what those wings are for."

Hearing the helplessness in Lorelai's voice, He felt bad for the kid, _Sweet girls like Rory should never know the Dark Side of dating,_ not envying her situation. "Hey, She could say there's a draft "he suggested.

"What?"

"Where she's sitting. She could say the air conditioning is hitting her, switch to the other side, and just blame it on that."

Lorelai placed her hand on his right leg, "That's perfect." but left her hand on his leg as she began to dial Rory's number, and Luke simply stared at her hand. _Just friends huh? ... Shut up!_

Rory answered her cell, "Mom?"

"Hey. Is he back yet?"

"No?"

"Say there's a draft and move to the other side of the table. It's very ladylike to feel drafts. He'll totally understand."

"Okay, good."

"And then ask what his brother and sister's names are. He'll like that you cared enough to confirm."

"Yeah, that seems right. "

"Don't worry about the conversation. Just talk, and if the talk doesn't flow, it doesn't. And stay away from urine-related topics, and you're good to go."

"Thanks, Mom. "

"Oh, the draft thing was Luke's. "

"Well, thank him for me, too. I'd better go."

"Go, go." Lorelai hung up, and sighed "Oh, good. I feel so much better." Now releived, she turned and hugged Luke, to thank him for the suggestion, and Luke chuckled at the sentiment. Perhaps now realizing for the first time how Rory's being at college made Lorelai worry about her little girl being out of the house and on her own. He rubbed Lorelai's back breifly, to comfort her, and though he'd never admit to it, he smelled her hair.

Lorelai could feel his hand on her back, his stubble on her cheek, _What is wrong with me? This is Luke! I don't hug Luke._ She had to talk again, avoid silence, _Silence is bad, must keep conversation going_. Lorelai could only whisper in his ear, "She says thanks.", trying not to sound too uncomfortable.

And Luke tried not to enjoy the sensation of her breath on his ear and the closeness as her body pressed against his. They looked at each other for a moment longer that necessary, ...again, before she pulled away, but she remained next to him, grabbing the beer he brought her.

To distract from what just happened, Luke offered "I wouldn't trade places with her for the world." _Cause you're with Lorelai, ... Shut up voice._ Still, he did have his arm around her..._Stop it!_

_A joke, we need a joke here, make this less awkward_ , as she casually settled against him again, but cocked that award winning smile. "Really? You wouldn't want to go out with a boy named Trevor? ... You might want to wait and see his picture." And took another sip of her beer.

Rolling his eyes, "I mean dating. It's a horror." He leaned forward to grab his bottle.

His comment was hitting close to home for Lorelai. Both now started to buzz from their beer, and consequently, were being a little more honest and forth coming about their mutual relationship woes.

Lorelai sighed heavily, as she picked at the bottle's label. "It's the only cure for the singleness thing, barring ordering a spouse off the internet."

He replied after his swallow, "I missed nothing by not dating."

"Not true."

"If I had dated a lot, I'd still be single. I'd just have spent a lot of bad nights at Tony Roma's."

"Yeah," and timidly added "but dating is how you get to know your potential partner. It's the only way." _Well, not the only way to get to know someone _... considering her years of friendship with the Coffee Man, and needing another sip.  
  
"There's the gut. I can tell if I'm comfortable with someone within seconds of meeting them. I feel it here." Gesturing to his "gut" with his bottle. "I felt it with Rachel. I felt it with Nicole. I was immediately ... relaxed ..." their eyes locked ... again, both silently noting their current relaxed position.

"You've got the gut thing?" She was impressed, Luke always seemed so reasonable, she never figured him for an intuition kinda of guy, particularly in matters of the heart._ I wish I had a gut thing._

Leaning forward to put down his beer, careful not to disturb Lorelai against him, not wanting her to shift away, just yet. "Well, it's just knowing that someone will let you ... be. That's a gut thing." And he grabbed the remote Lorelai had discarded from the coffee table.

She smiled at him, and sighed, perfectly contented with her company. Then she looked at the TV again and realized what he was doing. She sat up offended, "Aah! You're fast-forwarding!" her mood instantly changed, she began to swat at his hand.

"Well, we're not gonna get through this thing. I just wanna get to the good parts."

They started to do what they did best, and Lorelai argued, "There are no bad parts of 'Casablanca.' Just go back ... Back ... LUKE! "she whined, then tried to grab the remote from him, "Give me that!"

"No!" Luke began an improptu game of "keep away" as he continued to fast forward while extending the remote out of her reach. Yes, very juvenile. She was now crawling on top of him to regain power over the VCR, "You are breaking the rules."

"You've broken every rule." Luke started to chuckle, which seemed only to egg Lorelai on. As a defense of the remote, Luke began to tickle Lorelai, and she yelped. You could say that the beer was doing it's job. She giggled at how playful he was being, but remained focused on her objective. Luke switched hands, Lorelai was now in his lap still reaching with her left hand and fending off his free hand with her right. Both twisting, tickling, and wrestling for control, ... of the remote that is. Lorelai knocked off his hat in an attempted to distract Luke, but he continued to safeguard the remote. He bagan to stretch further and further to the opposite end of the couch, trying to slide and shift away beneath her. She remained on top of him and pushed him down onto the couch, now pinning him down, completely focused on the remote and completely lying on top of him. Luke now seemed to notice their compromising position; and forgot about the game, forgot what movie they were watching, _Lorelai is on top of me_... hell, he forgot what day it was.

Finally, Lorelai was victorious, snatching the remote, giggling uncontrolably. She smiled proudly down at him, which faded when she too noticed their new position and the serious look on his face.

Again the mood had changed; Again with the gazing into each other's eyes; Again with the uncomfortable silence, ... which finally Luke broke.

"Well, ... you got what you wanted." He whispered, referring to the remote.

"Yeah, .." she said preoccupied, searching his eyes. At that moment, in the dark , everything was perfect. And without thinking, she leaned down and kissed him._ Oh My God, I'm kissing Luke!!_

A kiss he returned, a kiss that he could not believe was happening. He had imagined this for long time, well, fanastized actually, but he never thought it would really happen. Luke heard the remote fall to the floor, she put a hand on his cheek to keep his attention fixed. His hands slid from her hips to around her torso, to keep her close as possible. The kiss intensified, and Lorleai couldn't help but think of all those awkward silent moments they had shared over the years. Those long knowing glances and the close proxities, stolen moments no one else saw or knew about._ Who knew Luke could kiss, I mean really kiss? _The kiss broke, both staring at each other out of breath.

_What does this mean? _They could have thought in unison.

Luke licked his lips, "What is the ... making out ...during the movie rule?"

"I don't think ... we ever needed ...one before."

"Really?"

"Well, usually it's just me and Rory, or I was always the chaperon for her and Dean ... and Jess ... well Jess never really participated in movie night."

"He's not really a joiner."

"No, he isn't," Lorelai laughed lightly, as she played with his collar. As if to test the waters again, just to make sure that it really was that amazing, she kissed him again. And again he reacted and responded eagerly.

She smiled as his lips made their way to her collar bone. "and well, it's never been just two opposite sex ... people ... on movie night."

His eyes met hers, "Sooooooo, this is a first?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Uh huh" she confirmed with a nodding head.

"Sounds like we need to ... make up some kind of rule?"

"Yeah, ... Well," Lorelai cleared her throat, avoiding his gaze, trying to take this seriously, even though she was laying on top of one of her best friends, only wanting to keep kissing him. The new rule had to sound offical, "If the movie night participants are ... one male, one female, ... and both not interested in continuing the movie, they could opt to..."

Luke took that as his cue and kissed her again, his hands entangled in her hair._ God, It's like he read my mind, I love democracy!_ and Lorelai moaned through the kiss as she opened her mouth and invited their tongues to meet. Realizing all those previous moments, missed opportunities with Luke, Lorelai was going to make up for them, and was all to happy to adjust her position and strattle Luke, pushing her pelvis against his.  
  
_I thought you two were just friends? _The smart ass voice asked Luke,_ Shut up!_

There was another pause, disbelief that this was real, each searched the other's face and another silent agreement that both wanted this to happen. Their eyes met again, as did their lips with a new passion. Luke sat up as they kissed, his hands still framing her face and hair. Lorelai, still strattled on top of Luke, sat up with him and she fingered the buttons of his flannel to remove the shirt. She let out a soft sigh as he kissed her neck again.

"Luke" she whispered.

"Lorelai" he mumbled against her skin.

Breaths became more ragged, flannel removed; Lorelai broke away breifly to remove her top, revealing a black lace bra, much to Luke's approval, prompting the removal of his own T-shirt. Now both could experience skin on skin contact. Carressing and kissing, groaning and grinding, immensely enjoying the simple pleasures. Yes, very juvenile, indeed.

But the phone rang again.

"Hey," he said between kisses. "phone again."

"Ummm ... machine will get it... "she said almost breathless.

"What if it's Rory?"

Touched by his concern, but she could only focus on him, "Rory has to learn to fly on her own." Their lips met yet again, Lorelai's arms around his neck, guiding his head, his lips, lower to her chest. His lips made his was down to the V of the lace, between her breasts, and Luke's hands slid up her back to unclasp the bra.

The answering machine picked up, "Hi, it's Lorelai. Leave me a message", and like a bucket of ice water, Emily Gilmore's voice dampened the mood. "Lorelai, This is your Mother..."

The entangled couple immediately froze. _Stop making out with that man,_ Emily's prim and proper voice said in Lorelai's head.

"... why are you not home at this time of night? I don't leave messages, call me as soon as you get this, there is a certain matter I'd like to discuss with you."

Lorelai leaned her forehead against Luke's, and she grumbled "Just when you think I couldn't hate her more!"

"You don't hate your mother."

"Right now ... I do..." she stroked the hair on his chest, and bit her lip.

And they just stared at each other, again, both understanding the comment.

"Maybe it's better she called," he sighed "... she brought us back to earth." Luke justified, sliding his hands down her back, away from the bra clasp but resting them on her hips.

Shyly Lorelai looked down at his muscular chest. "Maybe ... I didn't want to come back to earth." Eyes met again, both acknowledging Luke's growing excitement, and just how far they could have gone.

Luke shook his head, "Lorelai, there are other reasons why we should stop."

"Luke...?"

"I'm not saying that this was a bad thing, or that we should forget it... I mean, ...This has been very..." he was searching for the right words.

"Very!" she smiled, happy he enjoyed it too, she could tell in his voice, and frankly, in his pants.

"But... this isn't how I pictured this happening, I mean on a ... couch?, ... and What about Rory? You said she'd be back here tonight, ... do you really want her to find us in a... compromising... position?" he struggled to get out.

"No," seeing his point, still pleased at the fact that he had at least pictured something like this before.

"And..." Luke reluctantly continued, not really wanting to bring up his next point.

"And?" she encouraged.

"Well,..." Luke sighed heavily again, "Technically, ... I'm still ... married."

Lorelai gasped, "you're still married", she soberly remembered. That was why he was here, he was divorcing Nicole, they were ending it,_ Before it began!!; _but still they were ending it, the missed Ball Game_. How could I forget that HUGE detail, he's married! What am I doing... with married Luke!! _But looking down at his chest again, she could easily see how any woman could be rendered completely thoughtless, and logic disabled when a man like Luke was kissing you._ Nicole is so stupid to let him go. _The suggestive voice played devil's advocate,_ Hey, it's that stupidity that has him here, ... with you ... perched on top of him!_

Luke explained, "I mean, it's over, we broke up, are seperated ... divorcing, however you wanna put it." he stammered, "...but it's a slow process...."_ Damn lawyers! _"but even though it's over,...I still feel... like ... like ...", he didn't want to say it.

"Like you're cheating?" Lorelai finished for him.

"Yeah," he agreed. And a fustrated sigh left him, "I mean, it's werid, ... this whole... marriage, if you could call it that, it was a mistake. A stupid, dumb mistake."

Lorelai removed herself from her perch atop Luke, suddenly feeling very cold, due to the subject and the lack of her top. His head shot in her direction, "Lorelai, this isn't just a rebound thing. I want you to know that. ... I've ... "_Say it, Danes!_ "I've been wanting this a long time."

That got her attention. And he continued, "I ... noticed... you the first time we met, ... you made quite an impression. We've been friends for so long, but I don't think you ever really saw me. But I ... care about you ... and Rory ... so much, ... I'm glad this happened."

Lorelai took his hand, "me too, ... on all counts."

"Tommorow morning I'm calling the bastards and seeing how I can speed up the process!"

Lorelai laughed, "Don't call the bastards, call the lawyers."

Luke chuckled, and kissed her again, a harmless, not-as-passionate peck.

She dropped his hand, Lorelai found her shirt on the floor and put it back on. "ummmm I'm not in the mood for 'Casablanca'' anymore, would you mind if we tried it again another night?"

"Sure," following her lead and dressed again, figuring the night was over. He'd should head home anyway.

"Ummm, I have 'Hardbodies', in the cabinet there, would you get it, I'm gonna make popcorn."

Luke at first was stunned,_ She wants me to stay?_

"Luke?"

"Huh?"

"You okay?"

"Ummm yeah, we have pie too, you know.....uhhh where is it?... in here?" and headed to the cabinet and found the tape.

And she went into the kitchen for the popcorn. She didn't want him to go, it was that magnet mentality again, she just wanted to be with him, close to him. Yes, technically he was still married, but that doesn't mean they couldn't enjoy each others company. They both seemed to feel the same way, and in a few weeks the "marriage" would be over, offically, and he'd be truly single again._ And all mine, _she smiled at the thought_. Aren't you glad we decided on the lace though? _The suggestive voice asked,_ Shut up! _The reasonable voice shot back, as the microwave hummed the popcorn to life.

She went to the closet and grabbed a blanket for the second movie.

"Ready?" Luke asked over his shoulder.

"Almost" As she placed the blanket on the arm of the couch. and decided to clear the empty takeout boxes, and putting them into Luke's diner bag, now serving as a trash bag.

"Hey, let me help you."

"I've got it" she dismissed still smiling.

Luke looked at her confused, due the mixed signals he was getting. She noticed his expression."What?"

"Are we ...okay?"

"More than okay." She stepped forward and kissed his cheek. "Now, get it past the FBI warning, you do know what that is now right?... I'll be back with popcorn."

Luke didn't know where to sit now, should they stay separate, if they sat too close they may not be able to keep their hands off each other.

Lorelai came back with the bowl. "hey lay down,"

"What?"

"Lay down?"

"Loerlai?"  
  
"Perfectly innocent intentions, Okay. I just want you to hold me."

"During 'Hardbodies'?"

"Don't argue"

"It's what we do best?"

"Well not anymore?" she winked.

He complied, and laid down, and she settled beside him wrapping them in the blanket.

"You situated?" She asked.

"I am situated." As he wrapped his arms around her.

"Good, wouldn't want you to distract me from the movie."

He grinned as the movie began, content just to hold her.

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**A/N: one of my fav parts: cause don't we all have voices in out heads?**

**- Hey, his body language is wide open and his arm was just so inviting. Besides, I'm just a voice, it's your ASS that sat next to him.**

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**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

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**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention.....) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	3. Soooooo, Eventful Night ? ! ? !

**The Fundemental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls(rub it in why don't you!!!) . No Harm, No Sue. Dialouge has been borrowed from....episode 4-05 -The Fundamental Things Apply (written by John Stephens, directed by Neema Barnette); Some Dialouge and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979,  
... that is why it is awry! (I rhymed).**

**Summary: The Fundemental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! **

A/N: **awry: 1. In a position (Dirty!!) that is turned or twisted toward one side(really Dirty!!); askew. 2. Away from the correct course; amiss.  
  
well my version is awry (askew, a new twist) from how it happened in the eppy AKA in actual Gilmore history... get it? great! Enjoy this AU path!!**

**LuvzAFunEthing, just for being there...**

**and Shouhei who betaed this!! thanks babe, for telling me this was good and that I was talented, and for rubbing my ego....(DIRTY? EXTREMELY!!!)

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**

**Chapter 3  
Sooooo, Eventful Night ?! ?!**

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LORELAI'S HOUSE ... Still....  
Later that night...  
  
Rory walked through the front door, set her purse and keys down on the foyer table.

"Mom?" she called as she searched around. She walked in the living room, and kicked something, she looked to the floor and picked up ... _Luke's hat?_ Rory stood behind the couch and tried again "Mom?" she looked down at her watch to check the time and caught site of the pair on the couch, dropping the hat back to the floor.

Luke and Lorelai were curled up together, sharing a blanket, fast asleep. Lorelai's head was on his chest, he was holding her hand over his heart, his other arm around her waist.

Rory made her way around the couch, with wide eyes. She sat down on the coffee table and smiled, wondering if they finally saw what everyone in town had seen for years. She hated to disturb this scene, even so she tapped her mom's shoulder.

Lorelai inhaled deeply, feeling a poking on her arm, and opened her eyes. She saw her daughter, her angel and dreamily smiled, "Hey."

"Hey, ... is there something you wanna tell me?"

"What do you ...?" Suddenly feeling and remembering Luke was next to her, "...Oh?"

"Yeeeeeesssssss, ... Oooooooooooooh" Rory said knowingly, and couldn't help but smirk.

"Shh." Lorelai hushed, not wanting to wake Luke, "Kitchen, ... meet you there." She said softly.

Rory stood, still grinning, but couldn't help but eavesdrop. As her mother squirmed to free herself of the blanket and Luke's arms, Luke's voice was heard sleepily "Lorelai?"

Rory turned back and saw her mother's smile, it seemed to light the dark room, "Hey," she whispered "I'll be right back, go back to sleep." And Lorelai freed herself from his embrace.

He grunted something about coffee pots and his bread guy, and exhaled heavily, falling back asleep.

Lorelai feeling her daughter's gaze, but couldn't meet it. She kicked herself for getting caught, by her daughter, ...with Luke.

"Soooooo eventful night?" Rory inquired, as she got two glasses from the cabinet and put them on the kitchen table.

"I'd say, ...enlightening."

"Really? Do tell!" as she pulled out a box of cookies for her late night snack.

"Rory?"

"What? I just got off a bad date, cheer me up with yours." As she set the box down at the table, desperately wanting some much needed girl talk with her mom.

"It wasn't a date." As Lorelai sat down, _how much should I tell her?_

Rory reached into the fridge, pulled out the milk, "Oh no? You two were pretty comfortable on the couch a few minutes ago." As the fridge door closed, it seemed to emphaisized the observation.

Lorelai couldn't help but think of how comfortable they were a few hours ago, ... before Emily had called.

"It's Luke, ..." Lorelai said expectanly, as if Rory hadn't made that connection.

"So?" as Rory sat down at the table with her mother.

"Sooooo?... are you okay with this?"

"Are you okay with this?" Rory countered, with a raised eyebrow.

Lorelai really considered it..."Yeah, I think I am..."

"Then I'm okay with it ... now spill!!"

Lorelai had to chuckle at the enthusiasm. "But IT's LUKE! ... he makes your pancakes and coffee, do you really want to hear this?"

"I've been waiting to hear this since you met him!" as she poured her milk, wanting to get to the scoop already.

"What?"

"Oh please, there has been a betting pool for years on when you two would get together. I thought all bets were off when he got married ... Oh My God, he's married to Nicole!" as she slammed down the milk jug.

"He is divorcing her!" Lorelai reminded, as her hands figetted on the table top..

"Yes, but it's not offical yet...he's ... married...?"

"I know that, he knows that, we both know that." Annoyed, not needing the reminder of THAT whole stupid situation.

"Mom?...did _something_ ... happen tonight?... with Luke and ... you?" Rory almost feared the answer.

"We,... uuuh, we kissed?" she winced, and went into defense mode, "he is seperated, and he sees himself as single, ...it's just that the legal channels need to catch up with their clients, it's a slow process apparently. "

"You kissed Luke?"

"Yeah,... "

"Is that all?" implying how well she knew her mother.

"Yeah?" trying to sound inncoent, and failing.

"Mom?" not believeing her.

"Well, ... it could be considered ... harmless .... making out?"

"How old are you?"

"Ha, Ha"

"And that is all that happened?" finding it hard to believe. With all the built up sexual tension, Rory figured they would have been at it like wolves...not that she likes having those mental images...._EWWWWW!_ with a shutter.

Lorelai didn't notice Rory's shutter. She was lost in the evening's earlier events, and she considered bringing up the fact that Luke had a very muscular chest, but that might bring up the situation he had in his pants, and how far she wanted to go with him. Worried at what that might be saying to her daughter, "Yes." More convincing this time. _When she is 35, I will give her the real answer, or after the wedding....wait what?_ " We kiss a for a while," she said distracted.

"For a while...?" Rory said in a teasing tone.

"Then..., We fell asleep... during "_Hardbodies_." She puncuated with a smile.

"How do you fall asleep during a classic like '_Hardbodies'_?"

Lorelai shrugged "Long day?"

"and that is all?" Rory just wanted to be sure.

Lorelai nodded eagerly.

"Okay,... so you, kissed made out, and fell asleep,"

Lorelai confirmed, "IT was completely _innocent_."

"How ... Not Dirty, ... Well, okay, I don't think you will go to hell for kissing a divorcing man." Letting it go.

Lorelai smiled, "good to know."

After taking a sip of her milk, and Rory offered "Besides, he hasn't seen her since the cruise, right?"

"yeah, ... but still, if I catch you doing anything with a married man, I will kill you, unless of course he is your husband...in that case...you will be 93 and that is fine, but someone else's married man, they are off limits."

"Noted, but If I'm 93? Why kill me, why not just let nature take it's course, and how old will that make you? 109? Will you even be able to kill me?" Another pause "... soooo how was it?"

"Rory?!"

"Come on, was it just like in your dream?? ..."

"Hey, Where did that come from!! I didn't plan this, .. it just happened."

"RIIIGHT,... He just happened to come over? 'Hey Lorelai let's watch _Casablanca' _? Cause that is SO Luke."

"I did invite him, granted, ... but he was bummed about breaking up with Nicole and some ball game they were supposed to go to... I wanted to cheer him up"

"By making out with him?"

"It didn't happen like that. He had the remote and he wanted to fast forward through the movie, ..."

"Through a classic? Is he crazy? What about the flow?"

"Exactly...so I was trying to get the remote from him and sort of ...fell on top of him, and we were ... so close, and he ...smelled so good,.... And ... I kissed him." Lorelai bit her lip.

Rory tried to remember all the movie night rules. "Is there a rule about making out?"

"No, we did make one up though."

"Really, I must know, ... strictly for future referrence."

Lorelai cleared her throat, again wanting to sound offical "Well, it simply states that if both ... parties ... are in agreement, they could ...opt to..." she trailed off with a gesture of her hand, not really needing to finish the sentence, " ...instead".

Rory shook her head at her mother "Re-writing the rules of movie night. It's called Movie night, not make out night. ... You've got it bad." Taking another sip of her milk.

"Speaking of bad? You wanna talk about it or you wanna forget about it?" _Shift the spot light on her, good job, Lorelai._

"Well, there's nothing much to talk about. It was just bad. I got a little better as the night went on - talked a little more. He was very nice, just not my type. Oh, and the whole draft thing backfired. "

"How so? " as she reached for the cookies.

"Well, I switched over to the other side of the table. Then he started to feel the same draft and came over to my side."

"But we made up the draft." With a mouth full cookie.

"The power of suggestion."

"Boys are so malleable." Lorelai took another bite.

"It just all seemed so forced. I mean, I felt like I was locked into the pointless societal ritual. There has to be another way."

"Luke and I were debating that..."

"Oh was that before or after you made out like teenagers?"

Lorelai narrowed her eyes, _how did she know?_ "Before, ... Anyway, Luke thinks it's all about gut instinct - you know instantly if a person is right for you. I think you have to go through a lot to find a contender. And you've been very lucky with boys before. They were just always sort of ... there, but I think for the most part, a girl's got to hunt a little."

"And go through a lot of non-contenders." Rory sighed, dreading her next date.

"Yes, then the non-contenders become your fun bad-date anecdotes. In fact, on your next date, if you're stuck for a topic, tell him about your bad date."

"But what if that date is bad?"

"Then you have an anecdote for your next date."

"And how long does this go on?" afraid of the answer.

"You've seen '_Grey Gardens_.' It could go on forever."

"Oh, well, just shoot me now."

"Hang in there. Go with Luke's gut thing if all else fails. "

"Was it a gut thing that made you kiss him?"

"Hey! enough with the teasing kid!!"

"I'm just saying maybe you should examine his gut thing method, too."

"Are you doubting the wisdom of your mother?"

"Well, your contender method hasn't paid off for you?"

"Ouch, ... His gut thing has him in a werido divorce?"

"His gut thing had him kissing you on the couch?"

Now, how do you argue with that?

Rory asked, "So, how do you get a gut thing? What is it exactly?" taking a cookie for herself.

"Well... Luke said it's just knowing that someone will let you ... be. That you are comfortable with them, and them with you. You are relaxed around them, and just be yourself basically."

Rory nodded in agreement thinking of Dean and her, "like me and Dean"

"Rory? You were as nervous as a cat around him. You freaked out the first time he came over."

"Yeah, because you set up our first date, but I became relaxed, and comfortable. It was easy then." She sighed. Thinking of Dean now married to Lindsey.

"You'll find it babe. You got penty of time."

"Well, I'm glad you finally found it, took you long enough."

"My subtext sense is tingling?"

"I just mean maybe there is more to Luke's gut thing than you give him credit for ? Look at the two of you; friends for years, constantly bickernig, by the way, in elementarty school that means you like him. And you guys have always been comfortable around each other, relaxed, if you will. Attracted to each other forever, and don't' deny it everyone sees through the mock-mock flirting. That was all Gut."

Lorelai considered her daughter's point.

Rory continued "and with your method, you almost got married to someone you didn't love, almost got back together with dad, which he screwed up..., and were considering dating a man just because he pisses off grandma. How mature is that?"

"How did you get so smart?"

"Yale doesn't let in the dummies."

Lorelai smiled, still confused by the complexity of the situation. _If only I had't suggested he go on that cruise._ "sooo bed?"

"Yeah, I've need to ponder."

"Well, my advice is to try, try again, and maybe you can merge the contender/gut into a new hybrid method of dating that is all your own."

"I'll think about it..., enjoy your fella!" Rory teased as she went to her bedroom.

Lorelai got up from the table and paused in the living room, staring at Luke on the couch. she knelt down beside him, stroked his cheek, and kissed him Good Night. _My Fella._

"Lorelai?" he said in his sleep, as she pulled away.

_I love how he says my name_. Pleased that he was dreaming of her, she made sure he was covered with the blanket, and decided to head upstairs to her own bed, to avoid temptation.

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**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777**

**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention.....) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	4. Divorce? I Hear Those Suck!

**The Fundemental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue.  
Guess WHAT !?!?! I actually wrote this whole chapter, I know...now we get to see how much I SUCK!??? don't be shy, do tell!!!**

**Summary: The Fundemental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please!**

**and now....THE Shout Outs:**

**LuvZAFunEthing: my spoiler pixie, oh honey some days I love you and some days it's a don't shoot the messenger mentallity.....note to self do not kill your friend!!!! that would SUCK!!!what would I do without you....? let's NOT find out, okay??! Loves YA!! and keep the spoils coming!!! you are like James Bond of the spoilers..minus the mutating STDs (insert theme song...preferably performed by BOND the band....that is the best version...particularly the hectic remix...LOL)**

**Kara: hey you are the world's greatest READER!!! Keep checking back BABE!!! and Thanks for the kudos (they are delicious, ... okay that was pretty bad,am I right???)**

**and Shouhei congrats on getting in your play babe!!! Break ALL of your APPENDAGES!!**

**For Those Who Came In Late...(Or Just Need A Refresher):See Chapter one..**

**A/N: My reccommendation if you have this eppy, watch it, then read this...and tell me what you think!!! LOL ENJOY!!!**

**

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**

**Chapter 4:  
Divorce? I hear those SUCK!**

Luke became more awake, he could almost sense the sun rising, a talent he has procured with waking up at the buttcrack of dawn everyday. He began debating what the specials would be today. As he habittually rolled over to reach for his alarm clock, which he didn't heard this morning, but he came face to face with the back of a couch. Something was different, his apartment smelled different. He inhaled sharply as he snapped awake, finding himself wrapped in a ..._pink blanket?_ Then he sat up suddenly after he realized he wasn't in his bed.

He was still at Lorelai's, but he had woken up at his usual time. He looked around to find himself alone in the living room. He noted the mess still on the coffee table from last night; an empty bowl, beer bottles, and the pie tin Lorelai had scrapped clean. His eyes went to the stairs. Throwing the blanket off, he climbed the stairs to check on Lorelai. He quietly opened the door to her room and crept in. He saw a very deshevled, very unconsious Lorelai. He smiled at the image. _Damn! She is beautiful no matter what!_ He went to the bed and kissed her forehead, to which she was unaware.

He better get to the diner, the last thing he wanted after his memorable evening was to have to put up with a disgruntled Kirk, insessently complaining through breakfast to lull to lunch to lull to dinner. Kirk had trouble letting things go.

On his way down the stairs, Luke decided to make a pot of coffee for Lorelai, maybe the aroma would wake her up, and she'd be at the diner sooner for her morning visit. As he went into the kitchen, Luke noticed Rory's purse in the foyer. _Did she come back last night? Did she see us?_ _Was there anything to see?_ He strained to remember as he made the coffee.

With the pot brewing, he'd better get going, not wanting Babbette to find his truck had stayed here all night. _More gossip is the last thing I need, particularly with ... the divorce._ he sighed heavily and was on his way. _waita minute, ... I had a hat?_

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_Oh heavenly aroma_, Lorelai thought through the haze of her dream. The real world was creeping in to her unconsious. _But that's okay because Luke is in the real world._

She slowly opened her eyes, and smiled warmly at the thought of Luke down stairs. And decided to wake him up. She practically bounded down the stairs, shocked to find the couch empty. But the heavenly scent was still present from her dream world.

_Wait Coffee? this early? In This House? Only one man ..... _

She decended the remaining stairs, eagerly smiled and tip toed into the kitchen hoping to surpirse him. Images of her dream from last year, being the one married to Luke, him making her breakfast flashed in her head. An Empty Kitchen, _Damn Rory for bringing up that dream again!! _All she found was a brewing pot of coffee and a note with her name on it, so naturally she opened it.

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Lorelai,

I had an important phone call to make.

Hope this pot will last you and Rory, till your second breakfast at the diner.

Luke

P.S. I'll try to be nice to the lawyers.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She smiled, _Second breakfast?_ and she turned to the kitchen table and noticed the plate of unburnt poptarts he had set out. _How does he always know?_

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Rory was still waiting for the coffee she had in the kitchen to kick in as her mother practically pushed her out the door. A) it was Saturday, the day of "pre rest" as her mother once B.S.ed it to be, Rory's attempt at the same tactic had failed. B) She was a college girl now which means you slept as much as you could when you could. C) She didn't get much sleep last night, due to the late night speculation and pondering on how to synergistically merge the two dating methods, the "gut" and "contender" theories. Yet here she was, up, just barely, and dressed, just barely, as they were about to enter the town square.

"Why do I have to go? He left you the love letter." Rory murmurred. She never knew her mother to get ready so fast or so early on a Saturday.

"It' not a love letter, it was just a note between friends" checking if any gossips were around, where they could overhear. An arm around her daughter as she lead the walking zombie through town.

"Then why are you so anxious to see him again!" with arms crossed and closed eyes.

"Cause it's Luke, ... I see him every day,... and I'm not anxious." With a plastered smile.

"Yes, you are."

"Rory, don't you want to be mommy's little helper?" she coddled.

"I still don't see why I needed to leave my nice warm bed!!!" She whined as she leaned her head on her mother's shoulders.

"Cause you are pretty, and shouldn't hide it, and you started at Yale, and the people of Stars Hollow need to see their pretty, pretty, princess again!! Wave to the beautiful people, Rory, they missed you." As she did a mock beauty Queen wave.

"Oh don't remind me I'm still mad at Taylor for that whole ice cream princess thing.."

Lorelai became distracted as she caught sight of the diner, straining for a glimps of Luke through the window. "Now now, he didn't know our schedule, should he have asked, YES! But that is no reason to hold a grudge. Don't want our princess to have wrinkles."

As they crossed the street to the diner, Lorelai reminded Rory, "Now remember, nothing happened last night with me and Luke, nothing is different, so we will just act casual."

"I know nothing! I see nothing!" Rory said still groggy.

"That's my little Schultz!" as they entered the diner.

"LUUUUUUUKKE!! We need COOOOOOFFFEEEEEE!!" Lorelai sing songed.

"Real subtle" Rory dead panned as she sat at the nearest table to her.

"I thought so. Don't you remember _'High Anxiety'_? '_If you are loud an annoying subconsiously people don't notice you!'_"

"I thought you wanted to act casual?" Rory yawned.

"Yeah, casual and normal for me?"

"Right, See, I need Coffee, I can't process this." As she put her head on the table.

Lane came up with the Coffee pot, and two mugs. "morning!" chuckling at her friend's position.

"Lane?" Lorelai was confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Luke needed some help since he's been so busy lately..." she lowered her voice "going through the big 'D'"

"Don't mean Dallas" Lorelai countered.

"Yeah, so he hired me!"

"Well, congratualtions"

"Thanks, I don't know how long it will last, my mom is letting me do it on a trial basis, as long as it doesn't affect my studies, but I think the fact that Luke is a legendary hermit works to my advantage. " then she whispered again, "but once the 'D' word is over...who knows how long he will need me."

Lorelai only smiled, ..._Oh maybe more than you think..._ she was already thinking of places she wanted to take him, movies they should see together, she smiled, looking forward to when it could all offically begin.

"Mommy can Lane and I have a slumber party?" Rory said sleepily.

"Rough Night?" Lane asked

Lorelai whispered "Bad Date"

"AHHHH, ... I hear those suck." Lane offered "So what can I get you?" pulling out a pad from her apron.

"Well the coffee will be a big help, how aboutwe give her a minute, I think she needs to wake up more before she can string together an actual order... Or even realize she is hungry."

"Okay" Lane was about to leave.

"Hey, Lane? Where is Luke?" having yet to see his flannel clad self.

Lane made a face, "Yeah, Luke"

"What?" Lorelai asked concerned.

"He's not in the of best moods today." Lane leaned down and again whispered..."Divorce stuff,... you know?"

"Ahhhhh, yes, I hear those Suck. well is he here? Maybe I can cheer him up?" Lorelai supressed a _Dirty!_

"Actually he is leaving shortly. He has to go to meet with his lawyer after they had a very loud phone conversation this morning. So... go easy on him,... if you see him."

_I have to make an important phone call? _She recalled from the note. "Oh, uhhh, meeting with his lawyers? ... on a Saturday?"

"Hey, chasing ambulances is not just for weekdays anymore. Besides Luke was _VERY_ insistent, I think he wants this over with, and life back to normal ASAP."

Lorelai half smiled, he was really doing it. _Wow a man of his word, when was the last time we had one of those?_ trying to act nonchallant about it. "well I hope it all goes well."

"Don't we all!" Lane sighed.

As Lane returned to the kitchen, Luke emerged from the curtain that led to his appartment, and Lorelai smiled. He was dressed up in a suit which she knew he probalbly hated. _Is that the one I bought him?_ She seemed to realize. _I like the tie._

"LANE!" He barked, _Poor Kid, on her first day too. _Lorelai now understood her heavy sigh. Dealing with lawyers made Luke grumpy, well, ...more grumpy than usual. _Why did he marry one then?_

"Yeah, boss?" Lane asked timidly, but trying to act like nothing was out of the ordinary.

His mood had changed so much since this morning at Lorelai's._ IT's not Lane you're mad at,_ He seemed to notice his pervious harsh tone, he took it down a notch, "I'm heading out now, ... and I'm sorry,...about before, ... it's just, ... you know" _aahhh an apology, Luke style...the Great communicator, _Lorelai observed.

"Yeah, ... I know Luke, good luck today." Lane smiled.

"Yeah, Thanks" not really looking forward to this.

Suddenly something punched Lorelai's arm. "OW!" she looked at her now conscious daughter, "What was that for?"

"If you want to act casual, you shouldn't _stare_ at the diner man!" Rory said in a low voice and forced smile, as if her lips would have been read.

This mother-daughter interaction distracted Lorelai, and she missed the chance to talk to Luke as he walked passed their table, he didn't even see them with the other matters on his mind, and he was out the door.

"Rory!" and Lorelai watched out the window as he got into his truck and drove away. "Great!"

Lane came up to the table, "something wrong?"

"Uhhhh I just think it be great to ... have eggs and bacon,....on toast, you know kinda like a hip breakfast sandwich ... or something ... and since Luke isn't here.... You can do that right!"

"Sure." Lane smiled amused. "Rory, what about you?"

"ummmmm that sounds good actually same, I'm feeling a little hip myself. And more coffee, please."

"I'll keep it coming!" Lane went to the kitchen to place the orders.

The Gilmores were quiet for a moment...which Lorelai broke with, " he looked so good in that suit." _Maybe I'll visit him tonight when he is home._

And Rory shook her head, _Oh yeah she's got it Bad_.

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**A/N: hey, how were my cultrual references?? Huh? Mel Brooks? Hogan's Heroes? I'm Damn proud of that.**

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**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777**

**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention.....) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	5. Sucky Sundae! Wait It's Saturday!

**The Fundemental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. Dialouge has been borrowed from....episode 4-05 -The Fundamental Things Apply (written by John Stephens, directed by Neema Barnette); Some Dialouge and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979,  
... that is why it is awry! (I rhymed).**

**Summary: The Fundemental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! **

A/N: **awry: 1. In a position (Dirty!!) that is turned or twisted toward one side(really Dirty!!); askew. 2. Away from the correct course; amiss.  
  
well my version is awry (askew, a new twist) from how it happened in the eppy AKA in actual Gilmore history... get it? great! Enjoy this AU path!!**

**okay both my beta girls are busy or a little slow (I still love you both!!)****and I wanted to update!!!!!**

**But Hey Luvs got back to me YEAH!!! so this is betaed for the most part.. hehehe**

**I'm giving you two chapters .... and if necessary I will replace chapters with corrections (gramerical and such!!!)**

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

**Sucky Sundae! Wait it's Saturday!**

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Lorelai's stress was beginning to pile up. _Starting your own business is hard!_ Lorelai groaned to herself as she came through the front door. It had been a long day at the Inn, Michel was being "Michel", Tom was being "Tom", money concerns were weighing on her mind, and Lorelai just wanted to see Luke. He wasn't even at the Diner for Lunch. _Not that I extended my lunch break to wait and see him_, which she did. It was just as well, she was busy picking out deisgn books for her, Sookie, and Natalie, the designer they hired, to go through. And of course, the phone rang, just as she stumbled through the door, loaded for bear with books and catologs.. However, she literally dropped everything and eagerly answered it, hoping it was Luke.

"Hello?" She said with a smile on her face.

"Lorelai, it is customary when someone leaves you a message that you return their call in a timely manner. " The distinct voice of Emily Gilmore annouced. _Yeah, Caller I.D. would be good about now!_

"I thought you didn't leave messages." Talking with my mother, _Ah, yes the cherry to an already SUCKY SUNDAE!! Wait it's Saturday, … shoot, I need to call Mrs.Kim about that wardrobe.._

"Well, Lorelai, obviously you were avoiding returning my call"

Coming back to the here and now, "or my answering machine is on the fritz." She lied.

"Is it?" _I could have sworn it picked up. I can never tell when she is kidding._

_Sure why not?_ "ummm Yeah, it's really werid, I actually have to take it to the store now, ….sooooo if you could make this quick?"

"Well, I'm so glad your electronics take priority over talking to your mother."

_Always! _"Mom?"

Emily quickly changed the subject "Do you know Natalie Zimmerman?"

"I'm sorry, what?" caught off guard by the question.

"Natalie Zimmerman"Emily repeated.

"Natalie? Ummmmmm well, maybe?" _Crap Crap Crap!!_

"… Because I called her the other day about sprucing up a room she did for me a year ago, and, as you would say, she blew me off. "

"Well, what did she say? " _Please oh please oh please!_

"She said she couldn't help me out, but she wouldn't say why, so I leaned on her a bit. She cracked and said she'd made you certain promises."

_CRAP!!! _"Mom, I never told her she couldn't work for you."

"She said you did. "

"Well, no. Our agreement was – "

"So there was an agreement. "

_CRAP! Walked into that one!! "_Yes, but -

"To exclude me? "

"No. Well, not exactly." As she plopped exhausted on the couch.

"You know, Lorelai, perhaps it would be easier if you just gave me a list of the people I'm not allowed to have contact with. So far I know there's Natalie and Sookie, anyone else we should add? What about Richard? Am I still allowed to talk to my husband?"

" Mom, this is just a big misunderstanding. Go ahead and hire Natalie. "

"But you'll still have a problem with both of us using her."

"I will cease working with her. She's all yours. I'll tell her tomorrow."

"Oh, wonderful. So it'll be my fault she loses the job. No, Lorelai, you keep her, and I promise I'll never speak to her - ever. If she's bleeding on the side of the road, I'll drive by and pretend I didn't see. "

" Mom. . . "

" I have to go."

"I'm firing Natalie. "

"That's up to you."

" Consider it done."

" I'll see you Friday."

"Yup." Lorelai hung up, _Great, another perk of owning your own business_ she thought sarcastically. All she wanted was to see Luke. To know how the meeting with his lawyer went. To know when they could finish what they started on this very couch. _Woaw, missy, you haven't even gone on a Date yet?_

She was snapped out of her meditation when Rory came through the door."Mom?"

"Couch" she called.

"I think a book worm threw up by the door?"

"Yeah, the genre didn't sit well in his stomach. Did you have fun with Lane?"

"Yeah, we went to the mall in Hartford, and I'm holding some of her purchases till we can sneak em in her house."

"Fun!" Lorelai offered dryly.

"Always" she picked up on her mom's mood, "Rough day?"

Lorelai sighed, "Yeah, I just need to chill out. I think I'm gonna take a bath." And she got off the couch.

"Want to smell pretty for your man?"

"What?"

"Well, Lane and I stopped by Luke's and he's baaaaaaaaaack." In a "Their HERE" tone.

Lorelai was frozen to the spot? _Oh God to bathe or not to bathe? that is the question._

Noticing her mother's dilemma, "Mom? Go De-stress, you could just happen to drop by as he's is closing and free from demanding customers."

_And have his full attention? I like that!! _"Great!! Good idea!! " And ran up the stairs to beautify herself, a new enthusasim for this evening. _Maybe we could talk about going on an actual date!_

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****

**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777**

**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	6. It Was A Cruise! Not Vegas!

**The Fundemental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. Some Dialouge borrowed from Episode 4.07 - The Festival of Living Art( written by Daniel Palladino, directed by Chris Long). Some Dialouge and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979, that is why it is awry! (I rhymed).**

**Summary: The Fundemental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! **

**A/N: awry: 1. In a position (Dirty!!) that is turned or twisted toward one side(really Dirty!!); askew. 2. Away from the correct course; amiss.  
Well, my version is awry (askew, a new twist) from how it happened in the eppy AKA in actual Gilmore history... get it? great! Enjoy this AU path!!**

**okay both my beta girls are busy or a little slow (I still love you both!!)**

**and I wanted to update!! So here you go ... I'm impatient that way!!!**

**I'm giving you two chapters .... and if necessary I will replace chapters with corrections (gramerical and such!!!)**

**The shout outs:**

**LuvzAFunEthing,(BETA) my GG POET PAL, maybe we can next time, we can work on haikus, **

**I love Luke,  
Coffee pot in his hands  
Luke is pretty!**

**and Shouhei who betas (when she has time!! BLESS HER!!) PS how's the play???**

**TO JennaTripped Thank you darlin, I do try, this is another chapter that you will SOOOOOOOOOOOO ENJOY!!!! It was fun to RE-write, and it's fun to read and re -read … SO have at it (DIRTY!!) , tell me what you think!!!! ****

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**

**Chapter 6  
****It was a Cruise! Not Vegas!!  
  
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**Luke's Diner, That Same Evening…**

**Luke was cleaning up the diner, finding relief in the familiarity of his closing duties. _Damn lawyers; unable to give a straight answer, needing to discuss everything in a committee_, he internally fumed. He had to spend 4 hours at his lawyer's office, trying to explain the concept of a speedy divorce, _Just do what they do in Reno?, _in that God forsaken suit. He was all to happy to be back in his flannel and jeans. But to top off the bad day, he hadn't seen Lorelai. The one person who could bring him out of his foul mood. But Then, He heard the bell over the door jingle, and smiled. "Better order quick. We're closing." he barked over his shoulder in a teasing tone, thinking it was Lorelai.**

**"Surprise. " Nicole declared.**

**And he _WAS_ surprised, when he turned around, Luke came face to face with his … wife?  
  
"I'll say." He was stunned to see her, she must have gotten wind of that phone call his lawyer made. He was suddenly very uncomfortable in a place that had always been his sanctuary.**

**"Luke?"**

**"Nicole." By way of greeting.**

**"Ummmmm can we talk?"**

**"About what?"**

**"Luke, I think you know what."**

**"I don't think there is anything to talk about."**

**"Luke," she almost whined, "you called me, …"**

**"Actually, I called my Lawyer, who called your firm."**

**"Well, Actually there is a lot to talk about. . . you and me, our marriage?"**

**"Yeah?" He crossed his arms.**

**"If it were happening to anyone else, I'd laugh." Stepping to the counter.**

**"About what?"**

**"Well, getting married is what broke us up. You gotta love the irony."**

**"Yeah, it is a little … ironic." Luke was not sure how to talk to her now. Not sure what to say, _Is divorce supposed to be this ... civil?_ Not sure if he should tell her that he wanted to be with Lorelai. He finally had his chance with the one he's loved …well, since forever, and the one time he leaves town, the one time he took a vacation, one stupid mistake was biting him in the ass continuously.**

**"Luke, I'm not gonna say that getting married on that ship like we did wasn't wrong. We should have thought more about it, but … maybe … rushing into divorce would be just as wrong."**

**"What?" taken aback by the suggestion.**

**" Well, we're still you and me. Why can't we have what we had before?"**

**"Which was?" he honestly couldn't remember.**

**"Two people who loved being together." She offered wistfully.**

**"We're in the middle of a divorce." he argued.**

**" We can postpone it," she shrugged.**

**"We can?!?! " he never heard of such a thing; Not wanting such a thing!**

**" I'm a lawyer, I know these things."**

**_Oh yeah, do you know how to speed this process up? Damn Tricky Lawyers!! _"Postpone it and do what!?!?" curious as to what she was getting at.**

**"Date."**

**"Date?" perplexed by that concept.**

**"Remember?…" and she stepped forward "That was the fun part." She teased.**

**_Is she serious ?!?!_, and he had to do a double take, "So what you're saying is we get back together, … not divorce, … but not be married, either?" _How very modern!_ He thought.**

**" I guess… I know it sounds stupid, … but it doesn't feel stupid, does it?" she uncrossed his arms and took his hands in hers. _She was definitely serious!_**

**Luke was overwhelmed, trying to wrap his brain around this concept. Here, his cruise ship wife was asking him to postpone the divorce he was trying to expedite so he could be with another woman. To basically not be married to Nicole, only in the legal sense of the word, and still date this woman/his wife, that he only had luke warm feelings toward, compared what he felt toward Lorelai. _How do I get myself into these situations_? The smart ass was back, _by planning for things more than two days in advance?_, it offered. Luke grunted in fustration at the voice, _Shut up!_**

**"I've missed you, Luke." and Nicole reached out to him, hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss.**

**At first, he was in shocked, eyes wide and didn't move, but when his sense returned, he then gently pushed her away. Rejecting the kiss; rejecting this whole insane idea she had. He took a few steps back, wiping his mouth as if that would erase it from history. Luke needed distance, he needed space. _How to let her down gently_, "Nicole…" he rounded the corner of the counter, the bulky object a welcome barrier. He was now pacing behind the counter, _Geez, Last night I'm kissing Lorelai, feeling like I'm cheating on Nicole, now I've kissed Nicole feeling like I'm cheating on Lorelai, Yes, it is offical, My Life is just INSANE, and now I am VERY, VERY uncomfortable!!_**

**Picking up on his body language Nicole visibly sunk, "Luke what's changed? I mean we got married and haven't spoken to each other since? Just because we rushed into marriage, hasn't change how we felt about each other. and that doesn't mean it won't grow into something wonderful … in time ... and we'd end up in the same place … "**

**He froze, _Oh boy!_ She wasn't gonna make this easy on him. "Nicole…."**

**"Luke, I wanna try this … you and me." She was practically pleading.**

**_God, she is making this hard. _"Nicole, my phone call to your firm wasn't to postpone, I want this thing over with as quickly as possible. Is there anyway to speed up the process?" _Geez, are YOU familiar with the Reno technique?_**

**She was hurt, he could see it in her face, in her eyes. And they began to fight.… like a married couple, … which is what they were.**

**"So that's it? We were dating, we cared about each other, we make one rash decision and it's over?"**

**"Rash decision? We got married!! How long have we known each other? Have you even told your parents, yet? I mean, … This was a pretty big mistake!"**

**"I can't believe this! … What were you just killing time with me? The past few months meant nothing to you."**

**"Nicole, look, … I'm trying to be a nice guy about this, I don't want to lead you on."**

**"Lead me on? You were the one who proposed!"**

**"You were the one dropping hints!"**

**"So what?… I pressured you into proposing? Are you that easily influenced?"**

**_Ladies and Gentlemen, let the rant begin_ "We were out sailing on the ocean, feeling sea sick all the time, with the open bar at the buffet as the only way to counter act the seasickness. We were isolated for weeks from the real world, surrounded by other happy couples, naturally we got carried away. The captain married us for pete's sake, no one should have that much power when you are so isolated and sick, and you don't know if you are ever gonna be on dry land again. It's like the 'Noah's Ark' mentality, pair off two by two. But since we've come ashore, things have changed, you wanted out, I wanted out, we agreed. What happened on the boat would stay on the boat!"**

**"Luke, is was a cruise, not Vegas!"**

**"What with the magic shows, gambling, instant wedding and regretting it, same differnce to me!"**

**Both were silent for a minute.**

**"Nicole, please, Let's just walk away with what we came in with and be done with it. I want this over with."**

**"Why?"**

**"Nicole…"**

**"Luke, I deserve to know why? Is it the cruise or is it something else?"**

**_It's Lorelai. _He took a deep breath, and placed his hands on the counter. "Nicole…, … I just don't … feel that way about you. … Yes, the last few months have been great, minus talking to lawyers on a daily basis." Choosing his words carefully, "Look, I made a mistake by asking, … I did if for all the wrong reasons, I admit it. I did it because … I thought … that it was what you were expecting, … not because it was what I wanted. If we tried this thing now, I'd be lying to you, lying to myself, okay. You deserve better than that. You deserve something real."**

**She was very still and very quiet, recollecting herself, just staring at her hands resting on the counter. When she finally straighten up and looked him in the eye, all she could say was, "I thought I had something real." And she turned toward the door, unable to look in his eyes any longer. "I'll get those papers processed on Monday, _My Firm_ … will be in touch." and she walked out of the diner, and out of his life.**

**_DAMN!!_ That was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He felt like such a jerk. He had always been half assed with Nicole; he had used Jess as an excuse, not really being "present" when meeting her parents, never bought a double bed for his place, so they always had to go to hers, his doubts about planning the cruise and the commitment it stated.**

**He sighed heavliy, but his gut told him this was right. Now, he could focus soley on making Lorelai happy, and make sure she'd never regret picking him.**

**_For Lorelai, …I'm all In._ and he had to see her, he had missed her. _Geez, one day and I miss her. _He would finish closing then stop by her house.**

**A/N: My FAV LINE: **_How do I get myself into these situations_? The smart ass was back, _by planning for things more than two days in advance?_, it offered. Luke grunted in fustration at the voice, _Shut up!_

**A/N: for those who like nicole.. may I redeem myself in your eyes…(I'm a bit of a Nicole basher … I'm bitter that way!!)**

**A/N 2: if you look at this i did write about... 75 of the dialouge(do we have a mathematician in the audience?... anyone... did anyone get a B in math?!?!?) .... its just her entrance I needed. By far, one of the most fun and interesting chapters I've ever written/adapted and READ!!! Hope you liked too ... tell me about it.. R/R!!**

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777777777777777 Lucky 77777777777777777 

****

**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777**

**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	7. My Friend Phillip

**The** **Fundemental Things Awry  
****By GilmoreGirl1979**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. DUDE I actually Wrote all of this one TOO! WOW this is getting serious!!! Okay okay I borrowed the horoscope story from_ 5-03 Written in the Stars,_ Geez!!**

**Summary: OH if you don't know by NOW!!! .... L/L action, R/R please! **

**LuvzAFunEthing, who doesn't feel the need to read or review my stuff anymore, cause she gets em when they are RAW... (does that deserve a DIRTY?? ....)**

**Anyway, for all your encouragement and the jokes you tell. THANKS you little trollop!!  
  
jeepgirl259 WELCOME to the FAN CLUB!!!**

**and Shouhei WHERE ARE YA BABE we miss ya!!**

**Anna you said ""...and now I am VERY, VERY uncomfortable!!" No one ever thinks this  
when they're uncomfortable... I guess that's why I found it so funny.  
Thank you, though, cos from here on out, I'm going to think it whenever I  
am uncomfortable."**

**Luke talks that way remember when he said it to Kirk, in Raincoats(when they were talking about SEX BABY!!) .... "this is not a comfortable area for me .... and this is even more uncomfortable " ... glad you like the line, we can make T-shirts....oooooooooooooooo for the fan club... YEAH!!!**

**7777777777777777777777777777 LUCKY 7777777777777777777777777777777**

Chapter 7:  
My Friend Phillip (and no it's NOT who you think!!)

Rory answered the front door in her PJs and robe. _I guess it is kinda Late,_ Luke just realized. But Rory's face seemed to fall when she saw it was Luke. "Oh, ... Hi?"

Luke was now a little concerned, _How Much does Rory know?_ He tried to gage as he asked "Hey, is your mom home?" _By the way is it okay if I Date your Mom?_

"Ummmmmm she's ..."

He unable to handle the icy attitude. _Please be okay with this Rory. _The one obstacle he didn't consider, ... the daughter."Rory..." he began wanting to smooth things over.

Rory sighed heavily."She's kinda upset right now." She leveled.

"Oh, ... did she have another fight with your Grandmother?" He said as he entered the house searching for Lorelai in the living room.

Rory hesitated, "Actually ... she is mad at you." As she closed the door.

Luke turned on his heel to face Rory. "What? Why?"

"Look, ... I don't want to get in the middle of this?"

"Rory, I deserve to know why, and if she is mad at me, I don't think she will tell me...Rememb..." but he was cut off.

"Oh NO?!"

Rory and Luke turned to see Lorelai, arms crossed on the stairs, in her own PJs; a cotton tank top and lounge pants. They watched her as her bare feet stomped down the staircase, "Well, Gee, Maybe I'd be more than happy to give the man in question a piece of my mind?"

"Lorelai, what's wrong?" he had a bad feeling about this. _An upset Lorelai is one thing, an ANGRY Lorelai is something completely different._

"Don't play dumb!"

"Who's playing? I have no idea what is going on!" he answered honestly.

"Oh yeah? ... One word ... Nicole!" she nodded, as if that explaination was plain as day.

"Nicole?" he was still confused. And Rory, had wisely backed away into the hallway not wanting to get caught in anyone's crossfire.

"Yeah, Nicole, you know, the little woman, the old ball and chain, your WIFE!!!"

The fire in Lorelai's eyes had him confused and concerned, but told him this was a serious situation; she was going for blood if nessasary. "Lorelai ... ?"

"I saw her at the diner." She said cold and even.

"Yeah, we were talking about the divorce?" he defended.

"Really? That is fascinating, because from where I stood, you did more than just talk ... I SAW YOU, LUKE!!" she accused.

"Lorelai what are you ... " and his eyes went wide with understanding, _the Kiss, ... of course, she saw the kiss. DAMN IT! Of all the ... _and he exhaled "Oh Lorelai, ... "

"AH HA! " with a pointed finger. "You don't even deny it!! Well this is great!" and she began to gesticulate wildly "...I'm happy for you two, save yourself the trouble of having to talked to any more divorce lawyers..." and Lorelai pointed a finger to her chin, with the mock realization "OH Wait!! That's right, YOU MARRIED ONE!!!" and in a huff she retreated, stomping back up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.

Luke was still in shell shock. _How can I fix this? I have to fix this!_

"Maybe you should go?" Rory offered, from her safe distance " ... let her cool off."

"Hell no," he said more to himself, and he shot up the stairs two at a time, after her. _I'm not going to loose her now, not when we are so close._ He just spent the first part of his evening convincing Nicole to divorce, now he had to try to convince Lorelai to give him a chance. Luke tried the door knob, but it was locked. "LORELAI, please let me in."

"GO ... Away! Go to Hell while you are at it!" she screamed at the door while she paced in her room. _You go Girl!!_ The usually suggestive voice cheered on.

"Lorelai, ... you didn't see what you think you saw." He leaned his head on the door.

She was unable to keep still as she yelled at the door. "Oh really I'm legally blind all of a sudden, I didn't see you kissing her in the diner. What else didn't I see? You having sex on the counter?!! I could call the health department."

"Lorelai, ... you are overreacting, ... please ... let me in, ... let's talk!!"

"Oh, Mr. monosyllable, wants to talk!!"

"Can I just explain to you what really happened?"

"Oh so now I'm a liar too? Well that does seem to be a trait you love in your women, after all YOU MARRIED A LAWYER!!" she shouted at the door with a final flourish._ Ouch, that's a point for Lorelai!! _the cheerleader voice complimented. Lorelai sunk to her bed. Her Gilmore strength was leaving her, she had lost him before she even had him. Feeling defeated, trying to sound as even and strong, she simply stated "I get it, ... you're back with her, ... Just go away, move away with her!! Have a bunch of flannel clad kids!! " It was a struggle not to have her voice crack.

_Oh, My God, the work!_ He leaned against the frame as she vented, and caught sight of his toolbox by the bathroom. He had left it here when he fixed that clog in the sink last week. He examined the door hinges, _Damn they are on the inside._ Then he considered the door knob. After his appraisal, he went to the box, opened up "Bert", and found the phillips head screwdriver. Luke returned to the door, And began to unscrew the knob, once removed he could disable the locking mechanism from inside the knob itself.

Hearing the clamor in the hallway, Lorelai sat up on her bed, and curiously asked the door "Luke, what are you doing?"

The shrill sound of twisting wood still went on, and Lorelai stood to lean closer to the door. She was surprised when the knob fell out of place to her feet, and the door began to move toward her.

Luke entered the room, and she backed away, impressed at his resourcefulness. _A formidable opponent,_ she noted,_ how very Sexy! GAH purge those thoughts, BAD thoughts!! We are mad at him!! _"You are breaking into my Room? I could call the police."she had recovered quickly.

"I'm just replacing a door knob", innoccently holding up the outside half of the mechanisim, and put it on her night stand. _Thanks to my friend Phillip Screwdriver ... Dirty ... GEEZ!! I've missed her._

"Well, MacGyver, put it back and leave!!! I can't believe you did that!!", as she stepped closer to examine the hole in the door where the knob was supposed to be, and she rhetorically added, "I didn't know you _could_ do that?" She was never one for handy skills.

Trying to get back to the subject in question, "Lorelai will you at least talk to me."

She shook her head, "Nothing to talk about, " she said confidently, feigning strength now that she was face to face with him.

"Fine, well you are going to listen, Damn it!" _Stubborn as usual._

Lorelai turned to leave the room but Luke grabbed her arm, with only enough force to keep her from escaping. "Let me go", she warned.

"No" and he wrapped his arms around her, they were face to face, in a tight hug.

Lorelai only struggled for a moment, but became distracted by Luke, mere inches from her. _No, not again! With the close proximity!!_ Those blue eyes boring into her, that beautiful jaw, his scent. God, She had missed his smell, one day and she had missed his very scent. If she wasn't so mad, so hurt, she could have kissed him. _Be strong, Gilmore! _"Luke, let me go!"

"Or what?"

_God, I love that voice. NO, NO! Stay firm, stand your Ground!_ She swallowed hard, "Or I'll scream" she said half heartedly, her eyes only on those magic lips.

"Then I'll just have to stop you" he added in a husky whisper, and as if reading her mind, he kissed her.

_Oh Yeah, we forgot he was so good at that! _Again with the weak knees and disabled logic. If this was an old movie, Lorelai was certain she would have done that girly leg kick. As it was in the here and now, she returned the kiss, arms around his waist, her hands slowly slid up his back. She didn't want it to end, it seemed to have been an eternity since they kissed, _only one day!_ It was having a calming effect on her flairng temper, and coherent thoughts were present in her head again._ If he is back with Nicole, why is he kissing me? _The suggestive voice chimed in, _Maybe you should hear him out, ... instead of jumping to conclusions,_ just as Luke pulled away.

He had too pull away, he didn't want to, but they were still in a fight, things still needed to be explained and resolved. " Now, are you going to shut up and listen?" _Smooth Danes, real smooth!_

"If I say no, will you do that again?" and he cocked his head to one side, _Nice Try Gilmore!!_ The suggestive voice seemed to chuckle. So she shrugged in his arms, "couldn't hurt."

"Okay," and he let her go, and Luke sat down on her bed. "You are right, Nicole came to see me, to talk about the divorce. and You are right, she kissed me ... SHE KISSED ME!! I had nothing to do with it!"

"Nothing to do with it? You were there, you could have stopped it."

"I did stop it."

"Ummmm, No, you didn't"

"Just for the sake of argument. What DID you see?"

"I was coming to the diner for coffee, ... and to see you." she added a little embarrassed, but her pace quickened when relaying the unpleasentness "... I was at the door, I saw you two talking, then holding hands, then I saw you kiss, and then I went home." She had edited out the part where she cried on the way home, changed into her current PJs, wallowed in a pint of Benny and Jerry's with Rory, and took a second bath. her suggestive voice chuckled again, _Yeah, like you could wash THAT man outta your hair!! ... SHUT UP!!_

"Well, if you had stayed, you would have seen me push her away. You would have seen us have one hell of a fight."

"Fight?" Lorelai now joined him on the bed.

"Pay Per Veiw could have made a lot of money from Patty alone." He shook his head. " Look," he turned to face her, and he took one of her hands in his. "She came because I called her firm, I did what I said I was going to do. I was trying to make the divorce ... happen more quickly, Like we've been trying to do for the last month. She took the call to mean that I wanted to get back together. She even had this crazy idea that we postpone the divorce, ... that we date like before, only as husband and wife who don't live together..."

"And?" Lorelai was afraid of the answer.

He almost chuckled, unable to believe that she had to ask. "and I set her straight. I told her, that getting married was a mistake, we broke up, it was over, ... it was over when we first filed, let's finish the divorce now and move on."

"Luke are you sure?"

"What? Now you want me to be with her?"

"No, " she said almost to quickly, "... It's just, ... " she looked at their clasped hands, unable to make eye contact, "... are you sure you want me?"

"I don't believe this!" he let go of her hand and he got up from the bed. It was his turn to pace the room.

"Luke, you never really gave it a chance with her."

He turned around, and looked her in the eye. "You're not giving us a chance NOW!"

"Luke..."

Hands on his hips and nodding wisely, "I know what you are doing." As if onto her.

"What am I doing?" now she was playing dumb.

"You are pushing me away!"

"Luke , ... no, I ... I just want you to be happy ... with the right person!"

"Well guess what, ... I'm looking at the right person."

"Luke..." her eyes suddenly felt the need to stare at her knees.

"No, I've seen this before, when you ran away from Max, it was the week of the wedding, you took an impromtu trip out of town, and called the whole thing off. What was it then? Was he getting to close? Did he find out too many of your secrets? Well Guess what Lorelai, I know you better than anyone, I know all your secrets and I don't care. Is that _it_? That I know you so well? That I have the Gilmore Mystique down pat? That I was your friend first, and you didn't even consider me as a 'contender'! ... You are running away again. What ... was last night a mistake for you?? Are you regretting it? Are you scared? Scared that it's ME!! Scared that unlike all your other guys, I won't roll over and accept defeat? Lorelai, I am here, I am in this. I _Want_ to be with you! ... I will fight for us ... will you? Is it the fact that I've always been around, that I _will_ always be around? Does that scare you? Are you afraid that I will finally let you down? or scared 'cause you know that I won't!!"

It was all true. Luke knew her so well, and that scared her. He knew her flaws, and quirks and stayed her friend just the same. He's been there, not just for her, but for Rory too, and that scared her. Luke was her friend, and now she wanted him more than anyone, but the idea of being dependent on anyone always turned her stomach, and that scared her. But she was already dependent on him, more than she had realized, and that scared her. She thought she lost him once tonight, when she saw him with Nicole, and for the first time she was thinking about if she lost him down the road. That wave of uncertainty took her, made her physically sick. What if she messed this up? What if she lost him for good? What if they couldn't even be friends again after crossing that line? Lorelai didn't know what she would do without him, _Life without Luke_, and that uncertainty scared her.

"Luke, ..." she had nothing to argue really, so she decided to BS instead, and dealt from the bottom of the deck. "what about Rachel?"

"Unbelievable. Rachel was 3 years ago."

"So?"

"SO!?! What does that have to do with the here and now?"

"You weren't in it for her?"

"Oh Lorelai,... " he shook his head, _She really doesn't know how clueless she can be, Does she even know why Rachel left?_ No, She didn't. No one did. Only Luke knew. Luke recalled Rachel's advice from that day, "So don't wait too long ... to tell her?". _Three Years Rachel and I still haven't. Rachel knew even then,... that I was in love with you,_ he sighed, musing to himself._ Why didn't I take that advice back then? Then we wouldn't be here_. And the smart ass, anwsered his question, _because Lorelai was gonna get married, ... remember? ... Shut up!!_

Lorelai sat and waited for Luke to continue his thought. He seemed lost in his own meditation. _Of all the times for my ESP not to be working._

He finally turned back to her and began Rant #2. "Lorelai, I had to watch you with Max, get engaged to Max. I didn't like it, but I only wanted you to be happy. I even made that God forsaken chuppah with the goats and the grapes just so in some way, I could be apart of that day, part of your happiness. But you broke it off with him." _Thank God!_ "I've had to watch you date other men, anyone ... _but_ me. I had to suffer without you when we fought over Rory's car accident." Luke went to her window, and looked outside, feeling very self consious. "I thought then that was it, our friendship was over. Everyday without you those few months was ... unbearable." She listened as he uncharacteristically bared his soul. "I got used to you, Damn it!! I mean I've seen you every day for years. All this time, we had the aruging/bantering friendship that seemed to work for us. You ate garbage, I'd try to sneak you decaf, it worked for us. Then suddenly you were mad at me, ... you were gone ..." he turned back toward her finally able to look her in the face. "You are the closest thing to a best friend I have. Lorelai, you are scared of ruining what we have now? but ... I don't want to loose what we could be, something more, something better. Yes, I _was_ half assed with Rachel and Nicole, I will own up to that. But I was half assed ... because ... of you." Lorelai's brow furrowed in confusion, that was a lot to take in at once. Luke noticing her expression broke the ey contact. He couldn't look her in the eye any longer, he couldn't own up to all the feelings he's had toward her for all these years while she was making _that_ face. So, Luke went to her night stand and picked up the screwdriver and the door knob, to keep his hand busy while he spoke his heart.

He was returning the knob to it's proper home. As Luke worked with the screwdiver and knob he slowly began to tell a story, "Do you remember the first time we met?" he asked.

Lorelai had a little whiplash from the change of topic, and remained silent.

Luke seemed to quietly reminse as he worked. "It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day, the place was packed, ... and _this person_" reffering to Lorelai, as he smiled toward her, "... comes tearing into the place ... in a caffeine frenzy." He said with a chuckle reliving it in his head, hands busy with his tool. "I was with a customer. She interrupted me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I told her to wait her turn..."

"But then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what." And he snuck a peak at Lorelai, seeing she was remembering too with a smile. "So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she's being annoying - sit down, shut up, I'll get to her when I get to her."

And with a half smile Lorelai offered, "Y'know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just ... delightful."

And Luke continued with his little project, "So she asked me what my birthday was ... I wouldn't tell her.... She wouldn't stop talking. So, I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, and handed it to me." Luke had finished, so he stood up and mimed looking at his palm, "So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under 'Scorpio,' she had written, 'you will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away.' I gave her coffee. " As he finished he tried the door knob, making sure it turned properly.

Lorelai was now grinning "But she didn't go away."

Luke put down the screwdriver, and reached for his wallet in his back pocket. "She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me ..." and he pulled a small scrap of paper from his wallet and seemed to consider it further "one day it would bring me luck." and Luke placed the scrap of paper on her night stand next to the screw driver. "Last night, ... it did ... Maybe now ... it will give you some luck." Luke felt his chest tighten a bit, he didn't want to leave it there. but maybe that was the only way to prove his point._ If all works out, ...I'll get it back,_ he thought optimistically

Tearing her eyes from the night stand she finally met his gaze. Luke's tone was serious again, "Lorelai, the question is : Are you sure _you_ want _me_?" he stared at her a moment longer, and made his exit.

When he was out of sight Lorelai picked up the paper and saw it was her handwriting, the very same horoscope she gave him all those years ago. _I can't believe he kept this._

Lorelai sat alone in her room. She considered why he would tell her that he held on to this for so long. _Has he had feelings for me all these years... for Seven years?_ She thought again to all those stolen moments. Those glances and touches, and almost finding the nerve to ask him out, or him looking like he was about to ask her out. She thought about Rachel's return and how she couldn't help but hate little miss Elle MacPherson-kinda pretty-photographer-super woman. _Was I really Jealous, even back then?_ She remembered Luke's pesismistic reaction to her engagement, and making a chuppah for her despite it. The hollow feeling of not seeing him when they had the car accident fall out. She thought of when she had to do 'turn down' at the Independence Inn, and seeing him with Nicole during a romantic dry spell of her own. _Have I had feelings for him ... for seven years?_

She suddenly became aware she was being watched, she sensed Rory entered the room "Mom?"

"Yeah?" she sounded so distant.

"Luke's gone?"

"Yeah," still distracted by the piece of paper in her hand.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, ... could you pick another word please?"

"What?" her eyes narrowed as she breifly set them on her daughter.  
  
Rory chuckled "ladies and gentlemen we have progress." Rory sat on her mom's bed "seriously, what's going on? What's that?" noticing the paper Lorelai was holding so covetly.

"Oh this um...nothing" not sure how Rory would react to Luke pining for seven years... although... _Rory did mention waiting for us to get together since we met ... with the horoscope. Sookie had mentioned it too, from time to time; with the whole 'Stella Thing'. That Luke had a thing for me. Hell, my mother even saw it the first time she met Luke, the Ice man. and I did conceed that maybe I did have feelings for Luke, again after the whole 'Stella Thing'._

"Earth to Mom?" Rory was now waving a hand in front of her face.

"huh?"

"For nothing you sure are staring at it rather intently?" Rory suggested.

"Ummmmm I just need to think for a bit."

"And we have a complete sentince, again progress...." Rory was testing the waters with humor "Do you wanna talk about it... I tried not to listen but...."

"Rory, not now, I need to think, maybe ... sleep on it."

"Okay, well you will have me most of tomorrow, if you do."

"I know, ... thanks"

Rory kiss her mother's cheek, got up and closed the door as she left. Lorelai sat and stared at the door knob. Just like she wanted, Luke had replaced it before he left. Lorelai carefully placed the precious scrap on the night stand.

She laid down on the bed.. "He kept it in his wallet, ...for seven years." She stated to the ceiling. But she knew, she wouldn't sleep a wink.

_He kept it in his wallet ..._

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**My favorite lines(Because there are several!!):  
-_An upset Lorelai is one thing, an ANGRY Lorelai is something completely different.  
- "Yeah, Nicole, you know, the little woman, the old ball and chain, your WIFE!!!"  
-_Lorelai pointed a finger to her chin, with the mock realization "OH Wait!! That's right, YOU MARRIED ONE!!!"  
  
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**A/N: the door thing, TRUE DAMN STORY, okay, one time in my tempermental teen years I slammed the door to my bedroom, and my dad was so mad he took the door off the hinges and I didn't have a door(or privacy) for a month (he is strict that way!!)**

**And another time I locked myself out of my den, and I had to remove the door knob to unlock it and get backinto the room.**

**-traditionally speaking hinges are on the inside of the room**

**seriously check your bedroom door.**

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**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

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**What do you think? Were they True to character...??**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention.....) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**


	8. Something Has To Change

**The Fundamental Things Awry   
By GilmoreGirl1979   
(provider of Quality Fan Fiction..)**

**Now Part of the The Woulda Shoulda Coulda's GilmoreGirl1979 & LuvzAFunEThing collaboration series... ENJOY!!**

**Sorry had a bout of writers block, all better now… **

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. dialogue has been borrowed from.... NO ONE, I wrote all of this one YIPPEE... but I do own the rights to SEDUCTIVE Luke (see Rory Interruptus)and expect to make big money this Christmas... (Luke under the tree, with backwards baseball cap, wrapped in a bow ... and nothing else.... it is a beautiful thing...)**

**Summary: The Fundamental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! Now under the protective umbrella of the "Woulda Shoulda Coulda's" collaboration.**

**Previously on Gilmore Girls: **

**So far 6 & 7 are my mondo-fabulous fav chapters,   
****I LOVE LUKE,   
I LOVE IT WHEN LUKE RANTS,   
I LOVE TO WRITE LUKE RANTS (it's a talent I have).   
As many of you have said that it's talent I have, so thank you for noticing this talent I have … Some of my favs from the show: the wedding rant(Juney and Momo), the Firelight festival(the town of stars hollow probably got it's name from the local dance hall prostitute.) any and all of them, Scott is so talented…!! **

The shout outs;

Shouhei who betaed this!! thanks again babe, for telling me this wasn't crap.. lol

LuvsAFunEThing: the best writer un-blocker (is that dirty?) of them all …maybe you could be a plumber with those skills?? check out her stuff its just GREAT!!

Gcmel: A) nice to hear from you again!! it's like a tradition or something.. B) the sad thing is it's a true story, my dad was very mad that I slammed the door, and he just marched up the stairs with his tools and took the door off the hinges ... (hey I never slammed it again … so I guess the tough love worked!!!)

Kimmers: you said "cause without you around there is no writing" now that's something there…. That is like TJ DEEP!!! If there are no fans there is no fan fiction… so is fan fiction just an illusion….? Okay I'm no Etcha sketch King…. THAT is Why I write Luke rants instead…

Rebakathy who Anonymously reviewed Rory Interruptus ( have something to hide do we??) DAMN IT, you used my catch phrase…(it's also my fan club's password) LOL I tease thanks for being a fan don't be a stranger..

**

* * *

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Chapter 8   
Something Has To Change:

It was busy Sunday morning at Luke's diner. The entire town must have been in and out this morning. _SAVE one. The only one I want to see. Hell, Kirk has been in three times already._

Luke hated that he had left the horoscope at Lorelai's. _But maybe if she saw it, she would know how serious I am. _Still, you hold onto something for 7 years, you're bound to be pissed when you lost it. _I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is, and when everything works out … I will get it back._ Referring to both the Horoscope and Lorelai. The smart ass had to comment, M_y aren't we the optimist … SHUT UP!_

Yet, it was hard to be optimistic when it was 11:30 am, and she hadn't come in for her first dose of "Luke coffee"._She probably has drank all the coffee in her house. ... She would need a day, … or two …, to think things over. Yup, She will throw herself into her work. She has the Inn renovations to keep her mind off it till she is ready to think about it._

Luke had been a little curt with his customers all morning, so what else was new? But _Dammit, I just can't give her space. While she is thinking I have to do something. I need to ... be productive._ Last time he had those thoughts he made her the chuppah; _Complete with flowers and grapes and goats._ At the time, he was trying to keep himself busy, not think about her marrying someone else. This time, she was thinking about him. And he was just waiting. but_ I have to be … persistent, to prove my point; I will not let her down, I'm not going anywhere, be persistent, but not a stalker. _He thought about Nicole and Rachel, How he never wanted that to happen with Lorelai. _Something has to change. _With his decision made, "Caesar, I'm taking my lunch break, you're in charge." he barked, and with that he went upstairs.

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Lorelai tried to occupy herself with the design books she had picked up yesterday. Honestly, she was just sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through pages, just staring at Rory's door, … waiting. She kept thinking about the piece of paper that she had tucked safely in her jewelry box. She kept thinking about how well Luke knew her. How she didn't want to mess this up. It was true, … she was afraid, afraid of a life without Luke, but, … _Something has to change._

Unable to take it any longer, Lorelai burst into Rory's Room at 11:45 am. _How much sleep does a college kid need? _Lorelai began shaking her daughter, "Rory, I need help"

Rory groaned "the Quigi board is in the closet, call Freud." Shooing her mother away.

"Rory, wake UP I'm ready to talk now."

"Not everything is on your schedule MOTHER!" a grumpy Rory whined, pulling a pillow over her head.

"Well, my issues are time sensitive, now wake up." She smacked Rory's butt, to get it in gear.

Rory removed the pillow, sat up reluctantly, rubbing her eyes, and then yawned a "WHAT?"

Lorelai sat down to face her daughter. "Rory, … I think I want to date Luke."

"Well duh, if making out on the couch didn't tell you that … "

"This isn't a joke, I think I want to be dating Luke."

"Well, you won't have your chance for long with how he left here last night."

"Exactly, hence the time sensitive nature of the topic, … I can't loose him."

Surprised at how worried her mother was, Rory was now taking the topic seriously . "Mom, It's okay, … what happened? … I mean, I heard some stuff, but…" sounding a little guilty.

"What stuff?" Lorelai eyed her mini-me.

"Well, … I didn't exactly understand the whole horoscope thing. And there was a comment about wishing you luck …"

"Ah yes, the horoscope." _The now infamous horoscope, the one I will frame to show my grandchildren, if we have any, … wait? … What?_

"Spill spill," Rory encouraged, noticing her mother's mind wandering again.

"You did hear Luke's little story time, right?"

Rory admitted, "Yeah, you gave him a horoscope, he gave you coffee, but that was years ago…"

"Last night, He gave me _the_ horoscope."

"The horoscope?"

_"THE HOROSCOPE!"_

"NO way! he still had it?"

"He still had it, the exact same horoscope, my handwriting and everything. He's been holding on to it … for seven years, carrying it around in his wallet, like I told him too, … for seven years …" and Lorelai suddenly gasped "That means when he bought my picnic lunch at the basket auction, _'it'_ was in there." _Oh My God, that's another one of those "moments" we've had, that whole 'this is nice' picnic,_ as it came to be known.

"Mom, focus, you want to date Luke."

"Yes, I want to date Luke."

"So what's the problem? Go tell him. Let your daughter sleep."

"But it's Luke."

"Yeah?"

"The Town Luke"

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Fix It Luke"

"Yes" Rory, now getting irritated.

"Coffee Luke"

"Already established"

"Good old reliable 'I'll always be around' Luke" _There is another moment, his measuring contest with Max. Man, Luke must have hated him. And he made the chuppah anyway,… MAX! _and Lorelai recalled the reason for her fears and lack of sleep.

"Again. I've got it.. state the problem."

"What if I mess this up?" Lorelai confessed quietly.

_Now we are getting to it._ "then don't"

"But I don't usually mean to mess it up, but then I … mess it up."

"Well, what do you think you are doing now? … GO … talk to him."

"I can't."

"Mom, Where is this coming from?"

Lorelai admitted "last night, in the few winks of sleep did get … I had a dream."

Rory sighed. "The doctor is in" as she leaned against her headboard.

"Okay," Lorelai settled more comfortably on the bed, "so Luke and I are married, I mean just married, the rice is still falling to the ground, birds are eating it and exploding … you know. My mother and father seem pleased, first clue it was a dream _right there._ Second was Luke in a tux, I mean, hello, come on.We did it outside, underneath the chuppah that he made for me, God didn't smite us, it was just beautiful andromantic, you know. Anyway, Luke and I are having our first dance at the reception. Again, I'm in a fabulous dress, Vera Wang or something. Then someone starts that whole clinking the fork on the glasses thing, cause they want us to kiss, you know. And Luke _rolls his eyes,_ because public displays of affection aren't his thing; But he does it anyway, … cause he really wants to, and now he has an excuse. So then, a single glass keeps clinking … and I look over, … and it's MAX."

Rory winced, "Oh boy, I have a bad feeling about this,"

Lorelai only nodded in agreement, with wide eyes that said "I know", and she continued, "So Max puts down his glass and starts clapping, then someone else joins him, … and its Chris."

"Dad?"

"Yes, both in tuxedos, both applauding us, and Max starts in this whole speech….."

- - - - - - - - THE DREAM - - - - - - - - -

_I mean, Naturally, I was afraid of what they were doing there on the happiest day of my life. So, Max stops clapping and says,"Congratulations Luke, you did what neither of us could do."_

_Chris steps closer, "Yeah, you tamed the Gilmore Shrew ... she actually said 'yes' to your proposal …"_

_Max: "In all fairness, she did said 'yes' to mine, …"_

_Chris: "Sorry" _

_Max: "It's quite alright." Then Max turned his attention back to Luke and me with this creepy grin on his face " … she just never made it to the alter before."_

_Chris was also in awe of this fact, "That is impressive... Hey Luke, isn't this your second go down the aisle?? … Just checking … you know, I hear the third time's a charm… " and Chris offered his own story, "I don't know how true that is, after all, I asked Lorelai to marry me three times. ... Three times. and all I got was 'No'. I mean we have a kid together and she says 'No'. A chance to be with the father of her child, and she never wanted to complete our family."_

_And Max agreed, "That is not healthy."_

_So I had to defend myself. "Chris, we were 16, we wouldn't have lasted anyway."_

_Chris crossed his arms over his chest "Okay, that's one down, you got two more … "_

_"This is ridiculous, you are still very immature, couldn't hold a job, you were gone all the time, we had to come to you for Rory to visit, you were never there for Rory. Sherry was in and out of the picture. It would have never worked."_

_"Huh? Well, that didn't stop you from sleeping with me whenever I DID come to town."_

_And with that comment, Luke dropped my hand. "What?"_

_And Max didn't help things and when he said, "Oh yeah, … I heard about that…"_

_So there I am, on my wedding day in front of all of Stars Hollow and obscure relatives, having my Exes snitch on me to my, now, husband Luke. Wow, that sounds weird._

_Anyway, Chris continued "Hey Luke, remember when she was supposed to help you paint the diner" and in this almost sinister whisper he finished "… That was ME!" _

_And Luke didn't say anything._

_"And when you two were fighting about YOUR nephew getting OUR daughter in that car accident," in the same sinister whisper "...I was there too." his tone implying every dirty detail._

_Luke just stood there, but you could tell the anger was just boiling inside him. _

_"Luke?" I tried to snap him out of it. _

_Max spoke up again, putting a sarcastic, cheerful spin on the whole conversation. "But hey, least you two are now married, right? You got what you always wanted and pined for. Although, now you'll have the endless joy of asking yourself 'how long till she changes her mind?' a few months?" _

_Chris followed the suit "Weeks?" _

_"Hours? … Luke did she ever tell you why it didn't work out between us? ...Well simply, she never really thought about our future? She is so … spontaneous, … you know that. Sometimes, a very attractive, exciting quality. But it's like she never … saw me as a permanent fixture, she didn't see that getting married would change things. I mean we were getting married, and to her it was "CAS". To her it was like any other day, like it wasn't a big, life altering deal. So casual about it. Then when she realized I was going to be apart of a new routine, she called it off entirely … She has commitment issues, Luke. She never thought about where my stuff would go, how we would spend our time together. I mean, she couldn't even make it through the night in the same bed with me. She was out the door too fast. Have you two thought about having kids? Where will you Live? Has the coupon drawer been designated yet?"_

_"Max, I wasn't In Love with you, I couldn't live a lie, that would have been unfair to you …" _

_"And yet you said repeatedly that you did Love me. Right up to the week of the wedding, and even then I didn't get a goodbye, all of Stars Hollow knew the wedding was off before I did … At least you made it through the ceremony this time…but Luke, just a little advice; I hope you know a good lawyer." and Max gave a knowing smile._

_"Don't worry, ... he does." and it was Nicole, out of no where, enjoying a glass of champagne, ... our Wedding champagne._

_I was about to lay my case out for the group. "You don't know anything about us? How dare you, ANY of you, come now and try to ruin today …" _

_When Luke broke his silence."They're right, Lorelai…" _

_My head shot in his direction."What?" _

_"They … are right… " _

_"Luke ... you can't be serious," _

_"Do you ever mean what you say? … I mean everything is a joke to you … you say one thing and do another …you say your gonna marry Max, and then you run away. You say you've given up on the 'Christopher pipe dream' but you turn into a giddy 16 year old whenever he comes back to town .... how can I turst you with my heart?" _

_"Luke … we just got married!!! … I've never been this happy before, … we are together, ... finally together, and … I mean, … there is cake and music, and a chuppah … and you" At this point, I was having trouble breathing," …you promised, … you said you wouldn't let me down, those were your words … " _

_"Promises were made to be broken. You promised your parents you would go to Harvard." _

_"That is not fair ... " _

_"You promised Christopher you'd love him forever," _

_"That was in high school." _

_"You promised Max forever, too" _

_"I wasn't in love with him …" _

_"You promised me … forever…" _

_"Luke … I want this, I want you…" _

_"But do you love me…?" _

_I wanted to say it. I did. But my mouth wouldn't work. _

_"Lorelai, do you love me?" _

_My brain kept saying 'say it, say it or you will loose him' … but I couldn't get the words to come out… _

_Luke took a few steps away from me, and nodded, as if he had expected this. Luke then turned to his first wife, "Nicole, ... I'll be in touch with your firm ..."_

_"I'll be waiting" and she took another sip from her glass._

_And then Luke turned away and left… with Chris and Max, he left. I couldn't even call out his name to stop him. So there I was, in the middle of the dance floor, alone, in this gorgeous dress, crying, with the whole town and my mother, and Nicole judging me. _

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - End DREAM - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You need that translated?" was all Rory could say.

"What?"

"It's pretty clear…"

"Rory?"

"Mom, Max and Dad listed out all your mistakes for you, mistakes you are subconsciously aware of. Now, with Luke you have a new start, a clean slate, but you are scared of making those same mistakes again. In your dream, Luke was right, you did promise one thing but you did another. And you even said, you wanted to say you loved him, to keep him from leaving;… but you didn't, so he left, and you screwed up again…"

"Okay this is not helping…"

"Wait, here's the pay off, Mom that was a dream, this is real life… you still have a choice, you can still change… you have to treat Luke differently, treat him better than anyone before, because he really matters, you really care.Think about it. You been friends for years. Luke is already a permanent fixture, already part of the routine. Luke, his coffee, even his dry humor are basic needs, necessities; right up their with oxygen and 8 hours of sleep… "

Lorelai was still very quiet from having to relive her painful nightmare, but found some comfort in her daughters words … they made sense. _How did she get so smart?_

"Mom? the key here is follow through. I think you need to treat him differently, start by not avoiding him. Then, at the right moment, you two should talk, … really talk. This time, you have to say what you mean, and mean what you say."

Lorelai nodded, it did make a lot of sense. She got up, to finally take a shower and further meditate on Rory's words.

"Hey mom?"

She turned to face her daughter "Yeah?"

"Do you think you ... Love Luke? I mean , you said in your dream... "

Lorelai cut off that logic train... "I don't know yet, ... I know, there is something there, ... something good, and different..." _I never felt this with Max or Christopher._

"and completely obvious for the last few years?"

"Hey,... "

"Mom, last night Luke told you how long he's been wanting you. Just ask yourself, how long have you been wanting Luke?"

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Still on his lunch break, Luke was upstairs in his apartment, barking at a punk kid over the Phone. "Alright, how soon can you guys get it here."

"Ummm, we usually do deliveries 12-5pm, but you just ordered it today, … SO,… "

"Are you one of the delivery guys, Jimmy was it?"

"Yeah?"

"Make you a deal, Jim, you deliver it today, and I'll throw in a $100 tip."

"Uuuhhhh, Sir,we usually don't … accept tips. It's against company policy."

"I won't tell if you won't"

"uuhhh I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks"

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At 3:30 pm, Lorelai was making progress, she was out of the house. She was on her way to the Inn, because Tom had some figures for her to look over. She still didn't have the nerve to talk to Luke. The confession of his seven year crush was exciting, but still put her on edge, as did her dream. As did Rory's Final Question. _How long have you been wanting Luke?_

In avoidance of answering that question, Lorelai came up with many others to occupy her mind. Could they make it work? Would things stay the same? Would things be better than before? Would they be like friends with benefits? Would she have to tip him or would that now be dirty? Would the banter that built their relationship last? It was a lot to consider. She didn't have the luxury of beer clouding her thoughts, as it did on movie night. No matter how much she wanted to move forward, run her fingers through his hair and kiss him till they both were blue. _A little ahead of ourselves aren't we._ Rory was right, she had to treat Luke differently, take this seriously.

Her conversation with Rory had soothed her only slightly, her dream was still full of fear and sins of the past. Rory, of course, recommended the direct approach. "Just go and tell him....dinner movie, get the ball rolling, something, now go!!"

Lorelai wasn't quite ready for that. This was a delicate process, two friends were crossing that line you are never supposed to cross. A line where things will never be the same again. _I just need a day,... or two to get my head in order. _She didn't even want to say hi to the trio gossips at Hello Magazine; For fear that somehow they knew already about the little movie night make-out session, and would begin to judge her, point fingers, warn her not to break Luke's heart under penalty of tar and feathering. At that moment, she was content, pretending to read a magazine at the news stand, across the street from the diner. There was comfort in knowing he was in there, _Doesn't matter what time it is, I'll always be around. _Luke would be barking at Kirk, or giving directions to tourists. She could just picture it. She was too far away to actually see him, but the Williams Hardware sign still made her smile. _How do I tell him? Hell, how do I talk to him now? he was Right he's not just any other guy ... he's Luke..? Luke, who thanks to a few beers, has already seen me in my bra._ Suddenly her attention was taken by the speculation of the gossiping biddies a few feet away.

"Luke would never move away." Babbette insisted.

_Luke? Move?_ And so, Lorelai eavesdropped.

"All I know is that a moving truck just showed up and it's been there for a good 30 minutes," Mrs. Cassini, divulging what she knew, then leaned into whisper, "They are using the back entrance."

_How very conspiracy theory?_ But the reasonable voice was trying to be logical, _of course they are using the back, he runs a diner. He can't serve food with Mr. Zero intimidating his customers, … but why does he need movers to begin with?_

Patty offered her goodies. "You know, Nicole was there the other night … after hours…" the last phrase oozed with suggestion.

Babbette pressed, "Are you sure, Honey?"

"I know her license plate, and she parked right in front of my studio, I was locking up, and I looked at the diner and there she was, having a heated discussion with her … husband?" Patty then gasped " Oh My God, the divorce is off?"

"but, You just said they were fighting?" Babbette offered, naturally confused by Patty's logic.

"The best sex usually is after a big fight. And this looked BIG."

_Luke and Nicole, having sex on the counter. _Lorelai shuttered at her accusations of the other night but soon realized_, Huh? Luke was right. Pay Per View missed out BIG. _

"But Luke? Moving away? With Nicole?" Babbette riding Patty's logic train. "Man, I thought we'd have to bury him in that Diner."

"but with Nicole?" Patty scowled disappointed, "Not who I pictured him with," her tone almost directly aimed over her shoulder, at Lorelai a few feet away. "I mean Luke hates Lawyers. And she's soooo … skinny." Patty complained bitterly, she was never fond of the match.

"Well, if he's happy?" Babbette offered sympathetically.

"Oh please have you seen a smile on his face since he came back from that cruise …"

Babette returned "when have you ever seen a smile on his face?"

Mrs.Cassini refocused the girls to problem at hand, "the question is, … why the truck?"

"I suddenly have the urge for a Caesar salad" Patty thought devilishly.

"Oh Patty, like Luke will give ya anything" Babette scoffed.

"You'd be surprised at the subtle clues you can pick up by how a man carries himself. A late Lunch ladies?" and the trio made their way to the Diner.

_Luke with Nicole? Luke with someone else? Luke with Anyone that isn't me? _Now that the gossips were gone, Lorelai whipped out her cell phone.

"Hello?" Rory answered her cell, needing a breakfrom packing her car to head back to Yale that evening.

"Since Rachel."

"What?"

"Since Rachel, not when she came back. Before, when I bought her sweatshirt at the rummage sale."

"Okay I'm gonna need a clue here."

"You asked me how long I've wanted to be withLuke. Well, Since before Rachel, ... like when stella got out..."

"Mom?"

"Well, since your16th birthday ... Maybe"

"Mom."

"Oh God, do you remember how horrible the coffee was when she was around?"

"Mom,What happened?"

Lorelai's mania only pausing momentarily, "He's moving!" She stated matter-of-factly.

"Who's Moving?"

"Luke, he knows I'm gonna break his heart, and he is gonna run off and make his Surviving Ted Nugent dream a reality … "

"Mom, calm down, did he say to your face 'Lorelai you will break my heart, so I'm moving away'?"

"Not in so many words?"

"In any words…?"

"Fine, in no words, but the gossips were speculating about the truck."

"The truck?" Rory naturally out of the loop.

"Yes, the truck," _Geez, Why can't she keep up with me today?!?!? _"The moving truck with big smelly movers who , … you know, … moving things, … far, far away from me…"

"Mom, calm down, he's not moving."

"Then why the truck?"

"Mom, he just told you last night how he was in it for the two of you, he would stay and fight for you, that he wouldn't let you down."

"Wow, you did eavesdrop."

" I learned from the best… and he was, … you know ..shouting… kinda hard to miss."

"Yeah, I was there"

"And yet you didn't listen."

"I heard him…"

"Yes, but listening and hearing are two totally different things. This is exactly what I'm talking about, you get a little info and you take these leaps. Just calm down, go to the Inn, and stay away from gossip."

Lorelai pouted as she hung up. _Well, she was no help._ Lorelai walked down the side walk with her new magazine and paused when she saw it, the truck in question. At the back entrance of Luke's, just as reported. Then she saw Luke come out of the back door with the movers, whom Lorelai named Tiny and the previously only pictured, Mr. Zero. She decided to observe, and see if should could tell anything by how Luke carried himself, as Patty had suggested.

Tiny looked nervous, while Mr. Zero closed the back of the truck. _Damn, didn't get to see what they were moving_. Luke pulled out his horoscope-less wallet, and paid Tiny. It seemed Luke was giving Tiny extra for the work he'd done. Luke thanked them again, and waved as the truck drove off. Luke had a strange satisfied smile on his face. It was nice to see him happy, but what was he happy about? _Dammit, I dont' have Patty's sight..._ Lorelai innocently spied as he went to his green truck, and got in and drove in the opposite direction from the moving truck.

_Now what is He up too?_

* * *

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My Fav Prats/lines:

"the Quigi board is in the closet, call Freud."

**-hello - THE DREAM...in it's entirety damn proud of that... **

-Chris: _"Huh? Well, that didn't stop you from sleeping with me whenever I DID come to town."_

_And with that comment, Luke dropped my hand. "What?"_

_And Max didn't help things and when he said, "Oh yeah, … I heard about that…"_

_-_he is gonna run off and make his Surviving Ted Nugent dream a reality … "

-Luke pulled out his horoscope-less wallet...

A/N: It's contest time again... can anyone name where Mr.Zero is from?? hhhhhhhhmmmm? Name that reference...

**77777777777777777**

**Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?**

**LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."**

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777**

**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,   
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specific with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here V**

A/N: Satisfation Garanteed , if not please return unused portion of this chapter for a full refund...


	9. The Fine Art of Writing and Sliding

GRANDMA: Everyone's awfully quiet tonight.  
LORELAI: Sorry Mom, I'm just tired.  
RORY: Me too - school.  
LORELAI: Work.  
RORY: Life.  
LORELAI: Dig it man.  
RORY: Peace out Humphrey.  
GRANDMA: Mystery.  
- - - - - - - - - - - -

_Sorry, Something about this moment just made me think of that._  
I know, I was busy with boat and life, and holiday shopping, and work, and life again, and speculations provided by my spoiler pixie (we love her sooo) and writers block on where to go with this (you can suggest peoples it really helps.... you are THE PEOPLE, i want to give you what you want?? )

but the PEOPLE have spoken... and they have (repetatively) said

"GIMME MORE!!!"

**The Fundamental Things Awry  
By GilmoreGirl1979  
(provider of Quality Fan Fiction..)**

**Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. dialogue has been borrowed from.... NO ONE, I wrote all of this one YIPPEE... but I do own the right to SEDUCTIVE Luke (see Rory Interruptus)and expect to make big money this Christmas... (Luke under the tree, with backwards baseball cap, wrapped in a bow ... and nothing else.... it is a beautiful thing...)**

**Summary: The Fundamental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please! **

**A/N: Previously on Gilmore Girls: **

**- THE DREAM(that I am SOOOOOOO DAMN PROUD OF!!): Have I mentioned how proud I am of it... my take on it...-If you notice the FACTS that are presented are things that Lorelai knows about, not being able to sleep next to max (he was a sleep, how would he know she got up...), the times and occasions she slept with christopher(the BASTARD , ahem sorry tourettes ... again), the retrospective guilt she felt for those nights(can you blame her... have you seen him?)considering now she knows Luke was pining for her... ALL THAT TIME!!! **

**the shouts outs( because they are half the fun!!!)  
LuvsAFunEThing: It Bears REPEATING, I have stranges passions, and you are** **mult-faceted abnormal, why I love ya!! and SHE IS THE winner of the Mr. Zero REference congrats on getting your vote in early and often!!! lol (honorable mention to meredith and Rectorgirl)**  
**danagabrielle ****:  
-again with the insuing abdominal** **cramps and tears of laughter, gladTo be of SERVICE (DIRTY!)one good side split deserves another...(ask Luvz she will back me up on that!!)  
-stupid and crazy? (well that's a healthy combination) aren't we all, that is why we are here we just can't get enough, only an hour a week, are they kidding...? that won't do...  
- Again as you wish, up for another trip? ... here we go... (In case you didn't notice I love to Quote. It's the power I got after I cleaned my rain gutters ... that and my radioactive Luke rants...they are SO good, they GLOW!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)  
Rectorgirl: thanks chica, I'm back...  
politicaldonkey: I thank you,... HAve I mentioned how PROUD I am of that DREAM... I am REALLY PROUD OF IT!!! Review again soon, or just drop a line..  
lady rosebit: who just discovered fan fiction, ... specifically the wonder of LL Fan Fiction...  
( Insert my best Elivs impersonation, preferably '68 comeback special)  
Welcome to my WORLD,  
won't you come on in,  
miracles it seems  
still happen now and then.  
(hey the wonder of you, another GREAT Elvis Song...)  
Meredith44: thanks for the specifics...**

**and for the special, all seeing ,all knowing, MY GOD is she omnipitant??? Winnifred Smith** : **SO SORRY i was focused on boat.. but now the eppy aired..everyone can read now!!! and BTW:**

_I always feel like somebody's watching me  
And I Have No Privacy  
__oooooo oooooo oooooooo  
I always feel like somebody's watching me  
Tell Me Is It Just A Dream  
oooo ooooo ooooooo_

_I always feel like somebody's watching me  
I always feel like somebody's watching me  
I always feel like somebody's watching me_

**- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -end shouts - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
A/N: here's a little compare and contrast for ya  
R****eveiws are to ME, WHAT Coffee is to Lorelai. (you catching my drift, or do I need CHARTS? WINK)**

**If you liked this.. you should check out my other stuff (and LuvzAFunEThing, and LorelaiGilmoreDanes, shameless plugs, I'm a fan fiction enabler that way!!! hehehehe)**

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777  
**  
**Chapter 9:  
****The Fine Art of Writing and Sliding...**

Now it was a documented fact that Luke Danes hated malls; _But for change, one needed to shop_. For some reason, Luke heard that thought in Lorelai's voice. _Great, now she's in my head, man it's getting crowded in here._

A sales lady approached him, "Can I help you, Sir?"

"No, no, … I'm just looking, thanks" _This is embarrassing enough,I don't need a sale representative to make fun of me, or to suggestive sell up my bill._

"Well, my name is Diane, let me know if I can be of assistance."

"Sure thing," and Luke turned back to his selections, ... and instantly became overwhelmed._Oh Hell! _"Uhhh … Diane," he called before she was too far off.

"Yes, sir?"

He took another glance at all the choices and it only confirmed his need for help. "Look, I'm a simple man, I don't need a lot of features, bells and whistles. I just want something clean simple, without flowers, or clouds or cartoon characters, although I'm sure Lorelai would enjoy that and mock me to no end. However, That is not what I'm going for. I want to avoid pink, purple, and yellow at all costs… can you please help me locate such a product? … and machine washable preferably."

She had to smile at how specific he was being. "We have a very masculine collection right this way."

"Thank you"

"So Lorelai? your wife?"

"Uuuhh, Girlfriend, actually." _At least I think she's my ... girlfriend. Man, that sounds weird._

"You sound a little unsure.

"Well, its still all sorta .. new."

"AAHH, and something tells me you don't come here often.."

"I don't really like shopping" he winced, _or Malls in General, the parking, the blight on the environment... _

"Then, why isn't Lorelai here to help?"

"It's sort of a ... surprise…"

"Ahhhh and you think she'd tease you if you got transformers ..."

"I know, she'd tease me… "

"What if we had them match your shirt?"

And she held up a set from the masculine collection.

Luke smiled, _Perfect_, "That is a sort of mocking I could live with."

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Lorelai couldn't believe she was in the Book store. Well, not so hard to believe, Rory had ordered these books months ago, they had come in weeks ago, and now Lorelai had an excuse to pick them up._ Well, more of an Alibi really. _It was an attempt to stay as close to the diner as possible, to see when Luke would come back, this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

However, further consideration of her daughter's wisdom had her wander toward a section she wouldn't be caught dead in. Self Help. It was degrading, It was bad enough the whole town knew about her love life and track record; but if someone spotted her, and then have them know that now she saw she had a problem and needed an idiotic book to fix it.

She checked around to make sure no one was watching her. Andrew was busy, and every other customer was engrossed with flipping pages. _They couldn't careless, Lorelai_. and she began to stare down the covers._ How does one go picking a self help book anyway? The cover art, the sicky sweet inspirational quotes on the back cover, the author's photo,weather or not they were attractive themselves and looked like they realistically had a healthy relationship? Oh Boy!_

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Monday morning …

With a few chapters, under her belt Lorelai began to understand more of what Rory was talking about. She had loved Chris, but she sorta set him free, and he took it to mean he was off the parental hook, which she had long accepted. By her own admission, Lorelai knew really didn't love Max ...Sure, he was a great guy, but just not the man for her, not the man she pictured always being comfortable around … waking up to everyday; So she bailed. This time was different. This time it was Luke. _Bailing is not an option, I don't want it to be. _She has to prove that Luke is not like those other guys, he meant more. This time, she had to STAY and face it, the emotions, the good times and bad, the rants and the quirks … she had to stay. She wanted to stay.

Lorelai took a deep breath. She had been preparing for this moment. _He's gonna be in denial, act like nothing is wrong. Be all distant and mean. He's gonna make this so hard on me._ But she had made up her mind. She had to prove Luke wrong. She wasn't going to let him move far, far away, he wasn't going to walk out on their wedding reception;Lorelai was going to stay and fight for him … _for us._

She walked in, and saw him on the phone. He had his back to her, so she took the advantage. She quickly went to the counter and took a seat, hoping that surprise would be on her side.

Luke suddenly turned. He seemed … annoyed, but happy?_ Great, King of the mixed signals! _His grin slightly smaller than yesterday, but something was wrong. _Happy and scowling?_ It was almost like he was holding his breath. Aiming for nonchalant, Lorelai pretended to peruse the menu, and listened.

"Well get back to me as soon as you can." Luke hung up the phone, and seemed to crack his neck. _Why was he so tense? Does he know I'm here?_ Ceasar handed him plates, he took the orders to their tables, and Lorelai watched. _So he's just gonna Ignore me, GREAT!_

Luke noticed her at the counter when he was on the phone. He was surprised to see her so soon, buthe smiled to himself that she had returned to the diner, and at the fact that she was looking at a menu. _Like she needed to look, she has it memorized, HELL, she has digital pictures of the menu on her mantle._ He finally walked over to her, and not wanting to show his hand too early. "Coffee?"

"Please" She flashed him a smile, trying to make everything like it was before. Her eyes were studying him, trying to determine the subtext of his movements to get the mug and pot for her. "You want anything else?"

"ummm , a jelly doughnut?" testing the waters, waiting for the lecture.

"What kind?" he began to jot her order on his pad for her bill._ Like you really needed to look at the menu to order a doughnut._

_Like you really need to write down what I want. _"uuuhh what kind do you have?" he seemed to still be preoccupied by the phone call.

Luke strained to remember as his eyes went to the ceiling, apparently the answer was up there somewhere. "uuuh, blueberry, raspberry, some Boston cream custard crap, …"

_Maybe the flirty approach will work._ "ooooooh you make that sound so appetizing, but I think I want Raspberry." She smiled again.

"Coming up."

_DAMN. Nothing. This is worse than the car accident fight, maybe because now I'm even more invested. DAMMIT. _Luke placed her doughnut in front of her and went to refill the mugs of his other customers.

Lorelai slowly pulled apart her doughnut, and watched Luke as he delivered orders. _CHANGE SUCKS._ She was confused. A few nights ago they were passionately entangled, the next day yelling at each other, now he was indifferent to her presence.

"Refill?"

Momentarily snapped out of her thoughts, she only nodded. _At least I still get coffee_. "Could I have another doughnut … blueberry … please."

He quickly, still a bit tense, got her doughnut and placed it infront of her. Anyone else would have thought it was excellent customer service, Lorelai took it to mean he didn't want to be around her a moment longer than he had to.She sighed at her not so happy doughnut.

The phone rang again, and he answered. "Luke's … Oh hey" was was taken off guard "… I wasn't expecting to hear from _you_ … " and he ducked into the kitchen, to hide his conversation. _Again with the being shifty and secretive.OH GOD, he thinks I don't want to be with him… so he IS back with Nicole. DAMMIT, but he wasn't expecting her call...?_

Luke came out of the Kitchen, placing plates in front of customers at the counter. "Really? Wow, that was fast, did you guys finally figure out that 'Reno method' …"  
_  
What?_

Luke now leaned against the door jam, keeping an eye on Ceasar's progress." ... uh huh, … uh huh, … well I really do appreciate it … and …" his eyes drooped to the floor, his shoes nowthe most fascinating thing. "I am sorry, … Yeah, … good luck to you too. Bye" he hung up the phone, and let out a huge breath, as if the weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

_What was that all about? Reno? Janet Reno?_

A customer got Luke's attention, and Luke settled their tab at the register, with that strange grin from yesterday on his face again. After closing the register, he went back to going through his receipts. _If only I could get inside that Baseball Cap, damn why is my ESP still not working._

Luke settled another bill at the register, the morning rush had finally ended, and lorelai remained. She couldn't got to work, she'd just be thinking abouthim all day. Sure she'd be late, _It's not like we have guest yet... or walls for that matter_.Only a handful of tourists remained, no locals in sight. So, Luke took his stack of receipts casuallycloser to Lorelai. He leaned on the counter, as he shuffled through the papers again. Luke tried to sound casual, "Hey Lorelai, …"

_What's this? he speaks? "_Hey Luke" she threw back.

"I think I left my tool box, … at your house ... when I was there last week." He figured it was safe, with only strangers in the room.

"Oh, umm yeah, you did." she remembered how handy that tool box was the other night when he removed the door._ When he broke into my room, to kiss me… Kissing Luke, … bad thoughts, purge thoughts…_

"Well, I can stop by later … to pick it up, .. if you want…"he was going for playful, maybe even flirty, but still treading caustiously, she didn't seem to be in the mood for their usual banter.

"Yeah," she sighed, " ...that would be fine." _This is what our wonderful bantering relationship has come to,… small talk. Oh goodie._

She wasn't picking up on his tone. So he wanted to leave her more of a hint. He slid sideways a little closer to her, careful no one they knew was watching and whispered "I think I may have left _something else_ there."

Noticing and startled by how close he was, she now was seeing the subtext; _the Horoscope_, "oh yeah?" she said being cautious herself.

"Yeah, something … I'd like to have back." His eyes locked on her reaction.

_Maybe this is about more than a Horoscope? _"Really? Do you remember where you left it?" eying him up and down.

"Exactly … where I left it."

"Well, maybe, ... when you pick up your tool box you can … get it." still wanting to be careful they were talkinga bout hte same thing, wanting to see where this would lead. "but what do I get for holding onto it for you ?"

Luke ignored the last Question. Grinning again, he slid her bill andhispencil toward her.

_A pencil? He never gives up his pencil? _So picked up the paper, andshe read his all to familiar handwriting.  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
_2 - LG Coffee 3.00 _

_2 - Jelly Doughnut 1.88_

_You wanna catch a movie?  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lorelai blinked repeatedly, and had to read that again._WHAT? He is asking me out, … on my receipt?_ She looked over to see him take plates from Ceasar and deliver them to a table by the window. She grabbed the pencil, wrote something down, slid it to his side of the counter, and took a sip of her coffee with a genuine smile back on her face, waiting for him to see.

Luke returned noticed the paper, noticed the smilecback on her face, and looked at the response on the counter.

- - - - - - - - - - -  
_When and where?  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - -

He wrote, and slid it back, trying to hide the grin on his face.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_Tonight? I'll pick you up, you free?  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She read, wrote and slid her reply. Happily biting her lip.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_Yes  
_- - - -- - - - - - - - - -

He wrote and slid again.

- - - - - - - - -  
_7:30?  
_- - - - - -  
_It's a date!  
_- - - - - -  
_It's a date! (_he underlined twice.... )  
- - - - - - -

Luke got her a to-go cup filled with her favorite brew. He handed it to her.

She went to get the money out of her purse.

"Keep it" he insisted "Looks like your bill is already full." He picked up the paper and handed it to her. "why don't you keep this. Maybe it will bring you luck?" and he winked.

_Luke actually winked. _"It already has." She smiled.

She took her coffee hopped off the stool to head out the door. But then a thought possessed her and made her return to counter.

"Uuuuhhh Luke?"

"What? you want a doughnut to go?"

"Ummm no, but now that you mention it…" she shook her had to refocus her thoughts. "Luke,.." she leaned in and whispered, "your married."

He leaned in too, "Not anymore".

"What?"

"My divorce is final."

"Your divorce is final?"

"My divorce … is final." he confirmed, as he handed her a bagged doughnut with a smile.

_Oh, THAT Reno!!_ Lorelai smiled at the bag he handed her, … then met his eyes again. "You planned this didn't you?"

"Something like that?" he shrugged.

_I think I'm gonna like romantic dating Luke._"Soooo 7:30?"

"7:30." he confirmed again.

"Alright." She smiled.

Made her exit and whipped out her phone to recount the whole "writing and sliding" thing, to Rory … as she headed to the inn._ OH God, what am I gonna wear?_

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**Fav parts: hello the writing and sliding.... my new proud baby!!! admire it won't you....**

suggestions Welcome... ?? honestly I have no idea where to go with this!!! i know dating,... eventual marriage,... flannel clad babies galore, but the specifics, i call on you, ...THE PEOPLE, to assist ...

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I think the writing and sliding deserves a "that was all God given talent..." why thank you Luke...  
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**R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,  
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."**

**Please be specific with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)**

**Hence the Rant option below.**

**Insert Rant here VA/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund...**


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